I’ll be attempting to add screenshots but I feel that my fiancé is coercively controlling me and my kids through food. To clarify there’s a 21 year difference between me and my fiancé.
But I just got off work and had some stew on the pot of my slow cooker, I said the dish was too spicy multiple times throughout the day, and he (fiancé) even admitted that it was spicy even for him. And he loves spicy food.
So when I go home and my son (M7) begged to have some I said go ahead and let him try a bite, to which my fiancé made a small dish and tried to force him to eat it.
Of course my son protested after the first bite and downed a glass of water. I said he’s going to fill on water and my fiancés response was, “kids in Africa fill up on water all the time”. Excuse me sir this is America not frocking Africa.
So I stuck up for my son and erased my note on the fridge while “batching”, and in the other room while I undressed; my fiancé said “Frock you!” To which I responded “I wish you would!”
Only to find out through my passive aggressive comments that he aimed it at my son. I said don’t ever say that to my son again and he said “they should just go over to my family’s house then.” So I had my mom come get the kids. AITA? Can’t add screen shots in this group. So I’m sorry in advanced.
Personally, I consider spice to be a form of assault. If you want to inflict pain on yourself, go right ahead. But you shouldn’t force others.
YTA- For subjecting you child to this. He’s going to think a 21 year age gap is normal. He will normalize yelling at his future partners and children. Set a better example
You are allowed to say “fuck” on Reddit
NTA. That’s super shitty unhinged behavior by your fiance. The correct response there would have been something like”hey buddy, I’m proud of you for trying something new even if you didn’t like it.” Not to swear at a child and force him to eat something that’s physically painful. Good for you for standing up for your kid, do not tolerate that type of behavior from your fiance even if that means leaving him
Work on your exit plan. The age difference plus the kids not being his is a very bad combination.
I’m asking family currently to help tomorrow while he’s at work. Thank you though
YTA to your kids. They just get shipped off to grandma’s whenever they piss off your controlling fiance? There’s no indication of whether you’re planning to take action and leave this man, but it was weird of you to stay and send the kids off unless you tried to talk it through and didn’t include that info.
What in nine hells makes this man, in any way, a potential future partner?
He cursed at your **7-year old**. That’s really all that needs to said about him.
I have to say though that you are solidly an asshole for sending your children away when your fiancé said to. What were you thinking? You demonstrated to them that fiancé comes first.
**You. Are. Their. Mother.** He is just some dude you’re “frocking.” Cut this asshole loose and focus on treating your children with the care and respect they deserve.
NTA. I have stepkids- if I’d said “frock you” to either my husband would have had me – and my stuff- on the street in front of his house. I cannot imagine any situation where saying that to a child is ok.
I’m sure that the first issue that will pop up is the age difference between you and your fiancé. Just because he is 21 years younger than you does not make him an asshole. Its just that he is an asshole regardless of how young he is.
YTA
Future parents, don’t do anything posted in OP’s shitty story.
I’m going to be extremely blunt here.
Why are you with him? My mother married a man that used food as a weapon, too. If we didn’t want to eat something, he’d shove it in our mouths and then hold our noses shut to force us to swallow. She never stood up for us and chose him every time.
Even now, she swears it wasn’t that bad and he didn’t do anything wrong. Yet, at the same time, she doesn’t understand why my sister and I despise her husband and want nothing to do with her.
Is that the relationship you want with your son in the future? Who is more important to you? Your fiancé? Or your innocent son who is dependent on you to protect him?
You should onysend your kids away while you are kicking him out. The abuse will get worse and harder to escape.
What did I just read? There’s a lot of missing info, and a lot of random extra info.
Just say fuck.
Stop allowing this dude to, at best, bully you and your kids. Get rid of him.
YES YTA for staying with someone for mistreating your kids. THEY should not have to leave their home for anyone. ESH and the relationship needs to be over as this does not sound like the first attempt