I’ve done a fair bit of travelling and a few of those places I’ve visited were with an ex, like anyone else I like to take pictures of these places and I also like to get a fridge magnet everywhere I visit just as a souvenir. My current girlfriend has lost her head at me multiple times over this and I genuinely don’t see what I’m doing wrong. None of these pictures include my ex, they’re pictures of landscapes and landmarks of places I always wanted to visit like the Colosseum in Rome for example and the magnets are literally just little keepsakes from whatever place they’re from, again there is no connection to my ex. She seems to think I’m reminiscing over my ex when the way I see it is that my ex is in the past but these are also my individual experiences and memories, why should I have to delete them from existence when to me they no longer have any correlation to my ex.
NTA if they’re just souvenirs. Your gf seems to have some insecurity issues.
NAH
Yeah I don’t get it either my dude. But I think everyone has different expectations and shit when it comes to relationships. If this is something that truly bothers her and you plan to stay with this person, then you’re going to have to find some middle ground.
NTA. Those magnets are part of your history. Is there a place where you could put them elsewhere than the fridge? They probably wouldn’t bother her so much if she didn’t see them on a regular basis.
NTA. Photos of places you visited aren’t love letters to your ex.
NTA. Does your girlfriend think you had no life before her?
NTA. If she had something like that and you didn’t like it everyone would say you’re fragile controlling and abusive.
NTA – and time to Run – this kind of insecurity never goes away
NTA. You cannot factory reset your past.
Her reaction is a parade of red flags. Get rid of her now, because she will get worse.
NTA
NTA our lives existed before, we don’t remove our existence from our lives for people. That is immature and abusive.
NTA what an insanely childish take on a souvenir, you’re allowed to have memories of experiences you had with someone else, you *had* a life before you met her.
Honestly I’d break up with someone over something like this, you’ll never be able to talk about your previous experiences, you’ll never be able to tell a story that didn’t involve your current gf, you can *only* have experiences with her, and you’ll know that if she has ANYTHING in her house that she got with an ex it means that she’s \~*reminiscing*\~ over them
NTA.
You’re chronicling the places you’ve been. The fact that your relationship with the person you went with didn’t pan out doesn’t change that you want to remember, for the example you gave, Rome. Seeing the Colosseum, Forum, Trevi Fountain etc. It’s a bucket list item for many people.
Magnets are a common souvenir and an easy way to be reminded of a bucket place location without pulling something out. That has nothing to do with wanting your Ex back.
Anyone you’re with is going to have to accept that you’ve had core life experiences you’ll never be able to have with them for the first time. That’s true of most people who didn’t end up with their high school sweethearts.
Does she know you weren’t a virgin when she met you?