It’s been three years since my spouse has been telling me not to get the carpet cleaned because we are going to have flooring installed for the stairs. Our two dogs have puked multiple times on those stairs. I do my best to clean it, but there’s so many stains left behind. He had renovations done two years ago and multiple works went up and down those stairs. Now we have toddlers that crawl up and down those dirty ass stairs.
Today I decided to have them cleaned and my spouse threw a fit because I made the decision on my own. Spouse: “You made this decision on your own and didn’t check with me if we had the funds to do so. It’s a waste of money because we’re going to have it installed around tax season.” It was a total of $125 for the stairs and a large area rug that our kids play on.
Editing to answers questions and update:
1.) Finances are a bit tight, but we have cushion for any emergency expenses.
2.) He’s usually fair and compromises. I wouldn’t divorce him over this situation.
3.) We depend only on his income as of right now.
4.) laminate has been sitting in the garage for three years. He’s just missing the nose for the stairs.
The update: after the carpets were cleaned I playfully talked to lighten the mood. I tried to share my point of view and some of your thoughts. I told him to please listen because he was watching videos on his phone. He would repeat “im listening okay what okay what okay what” while im trying to talk. Anyway, he ended the conversation with “I involve you too much in my finances.”
NTA: He had three years to get the new flooring installed. And while you might not have checked with him about carpet cleaning, he didn’t inform you that (after three years) the flooring will be replaced at tax time.
And it’s a huge red flag that one of the partners in the marriage doesn’t know how much funds you have.
This seems controlling and his dismissal of your concerns is not okay. Ynta. Do you work too? Is all the money coming from his work? Does he feel entitled to control the earnings? It sounds like it. Do you live on a really tight budget where if you spent $125 on that you wouldn’t be able to afford utilities/food? If not, he is ta and I’d be considering other options because controlling money sometimes means controlling other things ton and that’s no way to live.
NTA
Toddler trumps possible recreating whenever he sees fit. NTA
NTA … Don’t bathe for 3 days and ask him how he likes your carpet?
dead
😂😂😂
NTA
3 years is FAR too long for stairs to not be steam cleaned, especially with dogs. The amount of hair and dander removed will make your air easier to breathe. Your spouse appears to have ZERO intention of replacing that carpet.
FYI: It’s more work to do yourself but in the long run will save money if you have any other carpet. A Bissel Turbo Clean in the U.S. costs $125 on Amazon, it’s a pretty good machine, or you can rent a carpet cleaner for a couple hours for less than that.
NTA
It would’ve been less if you’d done it sooner, and it comes to less than $42 per year for every year he lied, so it’s not that much. It isn’t about money anyway, he’s mad because your actions confirm he’s a liar and that he’s cheap, so he feels called out
How dare you make a decision on your own. How dare you decide to spend “our” money before checking with him. I mean he said the flooring was going to be installed soon. Why are you bugging him about it every 6 months.
Seriously. You are NTA. Your husband though certainly sounds like one. He has severe control and anger issues you really need to think about. This is not a healthy environment for you nor your children unless he addresses this ASAP.
NTA. He has had 3 years to get the flooring installed. HE keeps moving the goal post. You dont want your kids crawling on filthy carpet. If he didnt want you “wasting money” he would have gotten the floors done 3 years ago.
Tell him you took the money out of the interest the money for the new flooring was earning while it was invested for **3 years** since the time he said it was going to happen.
I 100% agree that couples should make these decisions together… but they also shouldn’t blatantly lie about things that are going to happen soon. He’s unreliable, so you had to take action.
NTA
Tell him that until you get a scheduled installation, date, and a deadline, you will get the carpet cleaned.
If he wants to replace the carpet, he needs to show that he’s serious about it and that he has a realistic timeline for getting it installed.
NTA
But realistically, you have a larger problem, and that’s a husband problem. I would sit him down, and politely and calmly tell him exactly why you did what you did, and explain that he kept promising that this would happen for three years. Spending $125 on carpet cleaning is very useful and very well worth the cost.
And it’s a tiny fraction of how much install installing flooring would cost.
NTA. His procrastinating isn’t your fault.