I (20F) work at a small hotel as a front desk employee. Due to being a student, I can only work part-time (about three-four days a week during breaks, two-three days during school). One of my coworkers, Abby, (21F) also works as a front desk employee but she works full-time.
I find her nice to hang around with and we became somewhat close, but due to our schedules, we don’t really hang out outside of work. Besides us, there are three other employees working the front, with two of them on overnight shift and the third being part-time as well.
The issue I have to my coworker is that she keeps on asking me to cover her shifts. Like a lot. Every single week, she texts me to cover her shift because she forgot a plan, isn’t feeling well, or something else. I sometimes take her shifts if I can, or at least trade shifts. However, she asks me so frequently, I actually get pissed off. She also occasionally asks my other coworker (24F), but she always rejects Abby, so Abby stopped asking her.
Last week alone, she asked me to work her Sunday, Tuesday, and Wednesday shift. I rejected her because I was out-of-town and also requested Sunday off. Last month, she asked me like five times. Yesterday, she texted me again asking why I keep refusing to cover her shifts. And if I’m being honest, I was already in a terrible mood and Abby asking me this only made me more angry.
I tell her that she needs to stop asking me to work her shifts so much, because she’s asking me weekly and I don’t always have time to cover for her. She tells me that she just had plans and the schedule doesn’t accommodate her all the time. I tell her to request off, cut her hours, or talk to the manager.
This is where she gets really pissed off and starts ranting to me about how she’s struggling to pay for her car and has to deal with her boyfriend, family, and pets. I just tell her she needs to manage her time better, which she leaves me on read.
In hindsight, I was pretty pissed off and should’ve been more careful about what I said. I feel guilty, but at the same time, manage your time better?
So, AITA?
NTA – you need to go to HR though. If she is struggling to pay for her car, why is she giving away hours?
Not sure about her, but the co-workers I have / have had that consistently try to get out of shifts are just lazy and don’t want to work, but will make up some excuse for why so they don’t look bad. Even when it means they’re not making money that they need.
Nta
You are not her mother.
I would not even accept to trade shifts with her ate this point.
Work for free? Never.
She might not have such a hard time paying her bills if she worked her hours.
NTA
Do you want to pick up extra shifts for the money?
If not, then just tell her you won’t be picking up any of her shifts going forward because you’ve got too much on.
NTA
You would have been the asshole if you were just lecturing her about time management but it doesn’t sound like this is the case here. She hasn’t got any right to be mad at you for not taking a shift for literally any reason. She can ask as much as she wants but if you say no it should be end of. Her getting mad about it justifies your saying so. NTA
I’m the future just say no. Elaborating when you’re telling someone something they don’t want to hear never works out. The conversation should go no longer than this…
Her: “Hey can you cover…. 14 thousands reasons she needs a day off”
You: “No”
Her: “Why not…. 10 thousands reasons why she needs it off.”
You: “The answer is No, and I’m not going to justify my time off.”
NTA. It doesn’t sound to me as if you were mean. It sounds as if you held her face to the mirror with a hard truth.
You know that co-worker who always refuses? Yeah, she’s got this down to a science. Copy her. You’re no longer available to cover any shifts for this other one as she’s worn out her privileges by asking too often and acting too entitled.
I bet that coworker who refuses has fewer headaches because Miss Entitled has probably cut way back on asking her. Your next move:
“I will not be covering any shifts for you moving forward. Plan accordingly.”
Don’t even have the conversation with her. Walk away or be non-responsive if she starts in. You don’t say a word to her while she’s berating you, you just go about your work. You don’t respond until she talks to you nicely. If she continues to berate or harass you, take it to your manager and tell them what steps you’ve taken to manage the situation.
ESH – Abby takes advantage of people, she sucks, and you? Read what you wrote:
…”She also occasionally asks my other coworker (24F), but she always rejects Abby, so Abby stopped asking her…”
The answer is hidden in that sentence. You can’t change anyone else’s behavior (make her quit asking), you can only change your own behavior (stop saying Yes), and remember, she will keep asking, and you just have to keep saying No. Every. Single. Time. — Not once in awhile saying yes, you have to say no every time if you want her to stop asking. And it will take a long time for her to quit asking—because of how many times you’ve said yes thus far.
You’re Causing Her To Keep Asking.
You Suck because, really, YOU NEED TO SAY NO. REPEATEDLY. OVER AND OVER. Every time you say Yes adds onto the time she will keep asking at the end.
OP doesn’t suck and is not an asshole for having tried to be accommodating.
It is good advice for OP to say no from now on. But doing what she could until now wasn’t bad behavior.
NTA.
No is a complete sentence.
Man there is always someone Iike this. Then when people stop covering they quit.
You’re NTA. Hopefully she leaves you alone from here but if not I would either say no from now on or just not even reply, until she gets the hint
NTA
Your right she does need to manage it better. Also if she is trying to pay for her car why is she constantly giving up shifts.
If I were you I wouldn’t cover for her anymore. She needs a bit of a wakeup call and its about time she was forced to take responsibility for her job. Just say no from now on.