So I (24F) accidentally spent a third of my monthly salary on something that can’t be refunded. It was honestly by mistake. I still live with my parents and so I don’t have to pay rent or food or anything. But my parents heavily involve themselves in all my lifedecisions. I do not want to tell them about this cause they arevery strict and dont want me to move out. This is the first time I’ve made such a mistake. It’s killing my conscience but I’m scared they’ll hold it over my head. What do I do?
There are different subs for this.
But how would they know where you spend your money on. Unless it is something big you have to hide in your room.
Them not wanting you to move out, is a clear sign you need to move out.
You made a mistake but it was your mistake and your money. You don’t anyone an explanation or apology.
Time to move out.
NTA
This can be hard to answer as I am unsure if there is any cultural choices involved. But at 24, you are a grown woman and your parents need to step back and let you live your life. It’s your money. Sure they can guide you, encourage you. But ultimately what you choose to spend your money on is your choice. We all make mistakes, we all have financial regrets. Its a good learning opportunity for you.
Be firm, tell them you are an adult. You recognise where you went wrong, but what you spend your money on is your business.
NTA
It’s none of their business. It’s your money. Unless a court has said you’re not able to make your own decisions, here’s today’s “court approved” decision: Don’t tell them.
You learned your lesson the way you should be learning lots of lessons … the hard way. There will be more. This category is likely fairly well cleared, of course, but there will be more.
Plus, it’ll give you and your mom/dad something to laugh about when you’re 32 and you go back home for the holidays. Save it for then.
Honestly I wouldn’t even call it the hard way. This is the prime time for OP to make these kind of mistakes when it’s lower stakes since their parents cover rent/food/etc
You said your parents don’t want you to move out.
So then put your foot down. Tell them you want privacy, no more parental access to your bank account. And if you can’t have privacy while living with them you’ll move out to get privacy. Their choice which.
NTA If your parents instilled in you that you must do certain things with your money, you will always feel guilt when making certain purchases. What you have to understand is that your parents values of certain things are not necessarily going to be yours. Your parents may never vacation and you may want to see the world.If you made the purchase of something that you like, keep it. if not try to resale it on EBay or some other vehicle.
From what you are writing it is time to
move out and be the adult that you are.I know that in some cultures this is easier said than done.
What exactly did you spend it on that’s non refundable? We won’t tell! #askingforafriend
Either way … on a serious note if it’s gone – it’s gone. You are not required to justify where your cash goes.
We all make mistakes at some point. Learn and let it go.
I think you need to think about becoming independent and find your own way.
NTA. Your parents should not be so involved, IMO. If I was you, I would be doing everything to get out and into your own place. Also, watch out for your future marriage re: your parents involving themselves so much. That could turn out not fun,
Wtf?
What is your parents’ reasoning for being strict? Is it based on evidence that you need help to make important decisions that are wise or ??
How did the mistake happen?