the person I hate the most in this whole world is my father. He’s a terrible person and has always been ever since my childhood. He’s angry, abusive, a cheater, an instigator just over all a terrible person who has committed every sin except murd*r and grape.
I have always hated him because of how he treated me my sisters and especially my mom. my mom has always stood by him, loved him, cooked for him and cared for him like a dutiful loyal wife. She even sold her gold and house for him to end some of his business cases. But he has never appreciated her, he always abused her and treated her badly. He has always abused us and abandoned us too, never experienced warmth from someone who was supposed to by my dad.
Now that he’s 65 and fallen really sick, always has some sickness going on, he’s being so clingy and needy to us. The father so never spoke a word to us for 6 months suddenly needs out attention 24/7, he wants our love attention and care now that he’s sick but unfortunately I cannot do it. I cannot force. I hate it.
I also do nothing to hide my disdain, he knows I do not like him at all. He still expects stuff from me like cook for him, feed him medicine, hover over him if he’s sick and what not. I can’t and won’t do it.
However, my mother often guilt trips me and tells me I’m a bad person for doing all this and I should just forgive him and leave my revenge on the Lord and hereafter, and do my duty as a daughter. Mind you he has never even acknowledge, let alone asked for forgiveness for treating us badly and never financially supporting us, he’s the reason why I, despite being a topper in school, cannot go to college.
AITA for acting this way?
>and leave my revenge on the Lord
“Who do you think sent me, mom?”
NTA Let him rot.
Thats my argument for people who are uber religious but hate queer and trans people, if god created everyone then he created them too. But of course they try and say the devil made them as a lame excuse. Maybe mom should reevaluate and see him as being possessed by a demon if shes so adamant on making it a religious thing .
NTA. This is a cat’s in the cradle situation (a song by Harry Chapin)…otherwise knows as – you reap what you sow. It’s not your responsibility to caretake him. You don’t have duty as a daughter to take care of your sick father who never took care of you, you don’t owe him anything. Your mother can stick with him if she wants to, but you don’t have to.
Frankly, I wouldn’t listen to much of anything your mother has to say given that she didn’t protect you from him and forced you to grow up in that mess. I know she wasn’t the perpetrator of the bad stuff, but a mother who doesn’t protect her children from abuse isn’t much of a mother at all, sorry to say.
I would distance myself from both of them. One for what he did to you and one for what she didn’t do for you.
NTA. Sounds like you’re taking care of him better than the way he took care of you as a kid. Just tell your mom you’re caring for him the way he cared for you growing up. 🤷♀️
NTA. You do not owe your parents your time, energy, money or mental wellbeing, full stop.
NTA. Don’t put yourself through this. You don’t have to be the dutiful daughter and the hit your mental health would take isn’t worth it.
NTA. You get back what you put into relationships. He can hardly expect you to be all warm and fuzzy with him after all these years when he now needs you. Stick to your boundaries.
I’d probably tell him to hurry up and die honestly. You don’t get to be trash for my entire life and then expect daughter privileges.
I cut my dad off 2 years ago and it’s been fabulous not dealing with him at all
NTA. You do not have any duty as a daughter to a father who has behaved as he has. You do have a duty to yourself, and I’m glad you are doing it, and I’m glad you see your mother’s guilt-tripping for what it is.
Why was he the reason you couldn’t go to college? Just trying to understand. And YNA. Sorry you, your mom and family are going through this. How are your sisters doing?
NTA. Don’t let mom guilt you. She chose her lot in life.