I(20m) didn’t actually want to come out as gay but my grandparents kept asking if I found any nice girl yet. One day I blurted out ‘I found a guy I like.’ My grandparents treat me the same afterwards but my uncle looked at me like I was disgusting. Told me I must be confused and can’t know if I don’t give dating a girl a go. I asked him how he can know he’s straight when he never gave dating a man a try.
Over the next several family gatherings we ignored each other. He’d look at me frostily and I’d just look away.
Yesterday though, he said he was ‘too impatient’ with how he spoke to me, before telling me he can set me up with a friend’s daughter. I told him I don’t want to date his friend’s daughter and he said he knows I’m upset right now. I snapped. I told him it’s okay and that ‘I support West Ham; I’m used to disappointment.’
My dad pulled me aside and said I didn’t have to go that far. That that would only make things awkward in our family.
NTA annihilated the guy but Nta. Get a better dad though
NTA at all. Your uncles a huge AH and your dad gets some too.
If this is true … IF …,, you, sir, are a god of gayness, and I hope you find a nice surrogate mother so you can reproduce yourself.
I really want it to be true, but I has me doubts.
NTA. Holy heck, your Uncle is though and his attitude is frankly disappointing as are his actions. He’s a grown man who is treading all over your feelings with impunity so you don’t need to be nice to him.
Your Dad is used to placating awful family members and while he’s made that choice, you don’t have to.
NDA. Your uncle is pretty ignorant, and your father should’ve had your back instead of criticizing you.
NTA I love your retort, “I asked him how he can know he’s straight when he never gave dating a man a try.”
Your uncle timewarped in from the past and unfortunately you probably won’t be able to change his attitudes.
Explain to your dad that it’s your uncle who is making things awkward.
NTA
“I support West Ham; I’m used to disappointment” is a pretty great 360 degree burn.
NTA
Yeah! You’re fast on your feet with the rejoinders. Nice.
NTA, OP. But you might become one if you remain a Hammerhead 🤣
I support West Ham and think the uncle is an even bigger disappointment. Which is particularly impressive at the moment.
NTA OP.
NTA, you didn’t even say anything bad at all. Like a few mild, funny quips, but nothing serious. Dad should be sticking up for you though.
YOU are making things awkward? Wow. Way to support your kid.
NTA, but on the list is your uncle AND your dad.
Your dad needs to take a good hard look at himself. He’s the one concerned about putting the feelings of a snarky homophobic arsehole over his own son.
I’m so tired of men who think it’s good enough not to actively participate in this type of harassment but will comfortably stand by and never call it out. And when you do, you’re the one causing a scene.