I turned 24 yesterday, My roommate (23F) knew it was my birthday because i had mentioned it multiple times, My family lives across the country, so I had no much plans and was planning to be alone, later my roommate decided last minute to spend the whole weekend (Fri–Mon) at the her boyfriend’s place and i got the apartment to myself. On my actual birthday, on Sunday night, I posted on my private story that it was my 24th birthday, I invited three of my friends and they showed up at 8 p.m. with cake and champagne to surprise me. We hung out in the living room, kept the volume normal, cleaned everything, and they left by 11:30 p.m. No mess, no damage, no loud music, i just slept off and in the morning my roommate came home, Monday morning, saw leftover balloons, and flipped out. She says I threw a party, that I should have taken permission, even though she wasn’t here and that having anyone over without her permission isn’t okay even when she’s away, this breaks our house rules. She’s now demanding I pay extra for utilities because other people used power and water, she got mad. i found out that she told some of her friends I’m inconsiderate and took advantage of her being gone and that got me thinking, my friends are saying I should have just spent the day alone to respect the rules. So AITA here?
NTA. you had three friends over for your birthday, cleaned up, and didn’t disturb anyone
Wow, your roommate is controlling. Does she pay extra for utilities when her boyfriend stays over? NTA. You had friends that cared about you enough to surprise you on your birthday! Be roommates with them.
Thank you so much, i feel like she overreacted
NTA she can’t make up rules for you to follow after something happens
Three friends is not a party. It’s a gathering. It’s 3 really good friends showing up for you and having a an enjoyable time with the ones special to them. There’s a big difference.
Having friends over to share special moments is a backbone of a happy home. Your roommate can kick bricks.
NTA. Time for a new roommate.
You live there and pay rent. You don’t need her permission to have a few friends over, even if she’s there. You need to kindly but firmly set boundaries now so she doesn’t think she can boss you around and be unreasonable. NTA
NTA. It’s your home too. Thats really as far as it needs to go. It’d be different if you were staying at someone’s else’s place.
NTA. You are entitled to use the space you pay for. You didn’t hinder her peace in anyway or break your lease. She’s tripping and you may want to consider not renewing your lease with her.
NTA
First of all – happy birthday OP!
Secondly – Your roommate is way out of line. You have every right to have friends over. And you and your friends didn’t leave a crazy mess or damage anything. She’s being unreasonable.
>having anyone over without her permission isn’t okay even when she’s away, this breaks our house rules.
INFO: Does it?
Does she pay rent to her boyfriend when she spends the weekend there? He is using more water and power. I hope you had an enjoyable birthday celebration, don’t let your roommate be a buzz killer. You are not the AH.
You are allowed to have friends over to your own house. Roommate is being a fucking psycho, unless you explicitly agreed to inform each other every single time somebody may visit your house. Even then, still way overreacting. If somebody stayed for a week or 2, you could maybe expect to chuck some extra coin in for power for that month… but wtf? She sounds incredibly controlling.
Edit: Also, happy birthday \^\_\^
She’s your roommate not your Mom and assuming you are splitting the bills and your guests didn’t go into her bedroom and didn’t make a mess this shouldn’t be a big deal. NTA