Hello! I would like to know if I’m being unreasonable here or wrong
My family member has been always struggling with blood pressure. They often have extremely high blood pressure of 200 mm hg, but no emergency following that. My mom always brushed it off, saying it’s normal because elders have higher blood pressure.
Today, I was at the dinner table. There was vegetables and fried chicken and rice. My unwell family member recently had to take medication due to fluid buildup in the lungs. My mother gave them fried chicken. I told her that this isn’t a good idea, since they already have high blood pressure and doctors already told them to minimize sodium/sugar/oil intake.
My mother ignored me and told me that my family member is unwell and weak, and needs more protein to get stronger, which fried chicken has. I told her that fried chicken or anything fried is only going to increase his blood pressure more, putting them in greater danger.
I also told her that if they ate all these processed foods before, why did they ever have the blood pressure problem or lung problem?
My mom told me I’m trying to start arguments, and I’m always trying to prove people wrong because I have nothing better to do.
from your honest opinion, am I the wrong one? Thank you!
INFO:
Is your ‘family member’ an adult capable of speaking for themself and making their own decisions?
If they are, then YTA.
If they’re not, and they’re dependent on others to make decisions for them, then you’re NTA for bringing up your concerns *if fried meals are the norm.* If you’re starting a fight over a bit of fried chicken, but otherwise meals tend to be healthier, then we’re back to YTA and I agree with your mom, you’re just looking to start a fight.
I don’t agree. Most adults cannot make good decisions on eating habits. Not anyone’s fault really, science shows how insanely difficult it is to change those habits and to resist eating unhealthy food.
Being concerned for a loved one and having these conversations isn’t being an AH.
That said, there’s a balance and there isn’t enough info on the post for that.
Was this a one thing convo? Is this a recurring fight? And what does the impacted person have to say?
Too much left out from the story
It is à one time thing after my relative was unwell, so this is relatively new. the impacted person didn’t say anything, they just ate their rice in silence, as my family and I have a history of arguments and they don’t want to interfere. sorry for being unclear, if any questions remain I am happy to answer them.
>Most adults cannot make good decisions on eating habits
It is still *their* decision to make. OP and mom shouldn’t be talking about what the family member should or shouldn’t eat – it’s the family member’s decision. Talking about them like they aren’t even there and don’t have any say in the matter is wrong.
they are capable of communicating, but they don’t understand much about nutrition and which foods have what nutrience. At the end, they didn’t actually eat the chicken so they listened to me so I’m glad. (after I typed this post). I wasn’t really trying to argue at all, I was just concerned as in how a certified doctor told us to minimize intake. I appreciate your opinion through!
With blood pressure that high their doctor will have told them about what foods they should be avoiding. They should also be on medication to control their blood pressure. In the end, it’s their decision if they eat the chicken or not. If this issue really concerns you, you could have offered them an alternative food lkke tuna or grilled chicken.
NTA, just let them die
People don’t change their cooking styles easily, and some don’t at all. If you want different food served, you probably need to start doing more cooking.
You’re not wrong
Depends on how old this relative is. If they’re 85 or older, then accept that they’re living their best life. OTOH, if they’re caring for someone, or are young enough that they want to continue living, then talk to them. Your mother is hazardous to their health.
Sorry, what is OTOH?