I never thought I’d be posting here, but everyone around me is split, and now I genuinely don’t know if I messed up.
I had a friend who I was really close with for a long time. We talked almost every day, played games together constantly, and were in the same friend group. At some point, I added him to my Steam family. I own about 130 games, and he owns maybe 10. I didn’t mind sharing at all. That’s what friends do.
Everything was normal. No arguments. No tension that I noticed.
Then one day, completely out of the blue, he messaged me and said he hated me and didn’t want to talk to me anymore. That was it. No context. No buildup. Just straight up “I hate you” and “don’t talk to me again.”
I was honestly shocked. I asked him what I did wrong. I asked if I upset him or if something happened. He refused to explain. He just kept saying he didn’t owe me a reason and that he was done with me.
That hurt a lot more than I expected. Not just because he cut me off, but because I had no idea why. I replayed every conversation in my head trying to figure out what I could’ve done.
After thinking about it, I removed him from my Steam family. My reasoning was simple: if you hate me and don’t want me in your life, why should you still have access to my stuff? I wasn’t doing it to punish him. It just felt weird letting someone who openly dislikes me benefit from something I pay for and built up over years.
That’s when things blew up.
Our mutual friends found out and immediately took his side. They said I was being petty, childish, and “holding my games hostage.” Some of them said I proved his point by kicking him out. Others said that just because we weren’t friends anymore didn’t mean I should’ve taken away his access.
What really got to me is that none of them could tell me why he hated me either. They just kept saying I should’ve been “the bigger person” and left him in the Steam family.
But I don’t see it that way. I didn’t insult him. I didn’t spread rumors. I didn’t start drama. I just set a boundary. If you cut me off and say you hate me, you don’t get to keep using my games like nothing happened.
Now I’m being labeled the villain in the group, and it’s making me second-guess myself.
So, AITA for removing my ex-friend from my Steam family after he said he hated me and refused to tell me why?
This is going to get taken down anyway, but: your mutual friends think that after somebody says they hate you and never want to speak to you again, you should continue to allow them access to your (virtual) possessions? That is warped, man.
Wait why will it get taken down? Also ig its because they are also in the steam family and have like 1 or 2 games of their own that said person plays
Because of Rule #8. Don’t get me wrong, I don’t care, if they don’t take it down then good for you. But I think they will. I was saying it to explain why I wasn’t spending a lot of time writing a long involved answer.
But it’s not about the friendship? It’s about the steam family thing, I see a ton of posts that have something to do with ex’s but it’s to do with something else?
NTA
There has to be something we don’t know.
Or else… all your friends are stupid. Of course he shouldn’t have access to your stuff.
That would be like changing the lock on your apartment after your gf cheats on you and you break up. Why should she still be allowed to live there.
The one thing I forgot to mention was the mutual friends are also in the steam family and have like 1 or 2 games of their own that said person plays so its “not fair”
Why don’t the mutual friend buy the game for him or invite them to their steam family .
I guess you can’t join a steam family for 1 year after leaving one, which I didn’t know, weird rule tho
Then they could buy the game for the friend if they cared so much . Not sure why your friends insist you share a steam account with a person who is not your friend .
Well for him that’s too bad. Your mutual friends aren’t really mutual friends btw. They chose a side and you still don’t know why. You probably won’t ever know why and that sucks. Find some new friends because they’re all awful.
Your friends sound like they’re using you for your games, I’m sorry to say. They don’t want you to kick him out of the family because they’re afraid they’ll be next. (Or, at best, they’re just VERY immature & conflict avoidant.) Either was, sounds like you need to drop this group and find better friends.
If there’s 1 or 2 who you’re normally closer with, you might try again to talk to them in person about what’s up (give them the benefit of the doubt, one last chance to explain themselves), but if they can’t, you need to move on. Fake friends are worse than no friends at all.
NTA
NTA As a fellow gamer I get it. It was a nice gesture to share your games in the first place. (Hell, I have over 200 titles in my Steam library and wouldn’t ever share with others. ) You attempted to find out why he suddenly turned on you and if he’s not willing to work it out, cutting him off was the right choice. You should really reconsider your friend group.
NTA. They’re your games They’re not entitled to if they cut you off. You’re just cutting them off back. Maybe he’ll think twice about being such a d**k next time.
NTA
In what world is it reasonable to think you can tell a friend you hate them and want zero contact with them, without giving any explanation, and still expect to have free ongoing access to their stuff? This guy, and anyone supporting him in this, is completely delusional. Tell them that he set a boundary and so did you. Simple. He is entitled to refuse to give you an explanation – although that’s a totally dick move – and you don’t have to explain yourself either. What you’ve done makes complete sense. Anyone who keeps pushing can join him on the outside of the Steam family circle.