My family likes to take turns cooking dinner and inviting Grandparents, Aunts, Uncles, Nieces, Nephews, and Cousins over for dinner. (We are a big Irish family) I 22F (in true Irish fashion) am allergic to wheat, so I primary cook gluten free and with a lit of potatoes. Last night I made Lasagna at my mother’s request and used GF noodles and GF rolls. In my opinion you can’t even tell the difference, I even had my mom and husband try them and they both agreed. We invited everyone for dinner and my cousin asked what brand of noodles I used as one on his classmates is GF and he mentioned me and she asked for some brand recognitions. (I used Barilla if anyone was wondering) Anyway, after I mentioned that everything was gluten free my aunt put her fork down and said she was done. I asked if everything was okay since she barely ait and she said ‘she does NOT eat gluten’ free I asked if she wanted some extra salad and husband everything asked if could heat up something for her. She didn’t want either option and said I was rude for not making a regular Lasagna and a GF Lasagna. I said I was exhausted from making sure there was enough for everyone (easily 15+ people). Her response was to make the Lasagna with regular noodles and just heat something up for myself. I told her that that was ridiculous to not be able to eat what I spent all day making. She said if people can accommodate my allergy at family dinners then I should accommodate her by making a Lasagna with gluten noodles. When husband and I go to dinner at someone else’s house I talk to them before hand and if they don’t want to/can’t make something GF I bring something for myself. My aunt and I went back and forth for another half hour about how insensitive I was being about it and making passive aggressive comments. I finally snapped. I slammed my hands on the table and told her if she didn’t like the food I made she could get the hell out. I know I have an Irish temper but was I too mean? My family split some say I was too harsh and others say she shouldn’t have gotten so upset about noodles.
NTA.
Your aunt has some nerve coming into your home and complaining about a free meal you made for the family. You weren’t too harsh and too bad if she feels you were. She’s a jerk for making this her hill to die on.
I’m sure the GF noodles were fine.
If it hadn’t been mentioned they were GF would she have even noticed?
Honestly probably not, my grandma mentioned the texture was different but not bad. That was really the only thing anyone said about them.
So let me get this straight….
When you go somewhere else to eat and they don’t want to accommodate your GF needs, you make something for yourself, right???
When someone comes to YOUR house and you create a GF meal that everyone should be able to eat, but someone doesn’t want it, THEY want YOU to make TWO separate meals??? Cooking a single meal for 15+ is rough enough!
Next time, point to the kitchen & tell your aunt…”Everything you need is right through there!”
Your house, your rules…everyone else can make their own food if they like…
Oh, and BTW, as the husband of a wife who is GF…
NTA!!!!
After reading the original post twice, I think the aunt wanted OP to make a “regular” non-gluten free meal for everyone, and a separate meal just for OP. In her own house.
Its even more ridiculous than we thought I fear.
I want my glutton! How dare you deny me my glutton! Is Aunty three? NTA
NTA, your aunt is being ridiculous: clearly she didn’t even notice before you mentioned it.
I wouldn’t bother cooking again – if you host, tell your aunt that the condition of her coming is that she brings all the food to make sure she’s satisfied with it, and that you will make yourself something gluten-free as she has suggested.
Nta. You were restrained
So many people have this kind of reaction: I won’t eat gluten-free!, I don’t eat vegan food! They don’t even know what it is. That’s why they won’t eat it. I’m not sure what they think it is. If you didn’t tell them, they wouldn’t have known. Tell them the salad is gluten-free. Maybe I’ll understand at some point.
Eh, I’ve had Barilla gluten free. You can very easily tell the difference and they are nowhere near as nice as the regular. Some gluten free things are just not as good as the original and may never be. Some are, but I have yet to have a pasta that is.
However, not as nice is not the same as horrible. Did your aunt actually try the lasagne? Did she seem to enjoy it until she found it?
Regardless of whether tried it, or whether she liked it or not, she is out of line for her response. But, honestly, spending half an hour arguing with her over it – waste of time and breath. I mean, sure, tell her what is what, but then let it go and let her be the cr zy argumentative one.
NTA
She would have never know if your cousin didn’t ask…it’s almost like…he wanted to start drama 🤷♀️🤷♀️🤷♀️
Was the cousin that asked, your spoiled aunts child? If so, he needed her mad at something else for a distraction, if not, he was bored and needed entertainment.
OH, and your gluten free diet does not require you to cook a” Gluten Inclusive” alternative….if you have to bring your own sometimes after asking, her adult ass could have texted, hell, Morse code, telegram, dust off the old aol account and send aim. She couldn’t bother to ask, it’s not your obligation to share either.
NOT having gluten is NOT the same as feeding her Tofurkey, tell her to stuff it!
My cousin is not her kid, he is in middle school and has a crush on a kid in his class who is GF. He was asking about the brand of the noodles because he wants to invite his crush over for dinner. He didn’t mean to start drama and apologized after I told aunt to leave.
NTA If you cave to your aunt’s wishes, you risk having an allergic reaction by handling products that contain gluten.
However, I agree with your aunt that gluten free products have an off putting texture.
You might consider making dishes where you don’t have to substitute gluten free products, such as stews and casseroles.
NTA
why in the world would anyone be so personally offended by having to eat gluten free food? she seemt to be eating it and found no problem with it until it was mentioned it was GF, she didn’t even give a reason, because there’s none, just stubborness and being mad for the sake of being mad, and calling you insensitive on top of everything, what?
NTA
You cooked a meal that everyone could eat. And it seems she didn’t have a problem with the meal until she found out it was gluten-free.
She doesn’t have a “right” to a meal with gluten. What a ridiculous stand to make.