I’m a 20-year-old aircraft engineering trainee for a national airline and attend college 3 days a week for licence training. Class runs 8:30am–4:30pm. We usually get a break around 9–9:30am and then lunch at 1pm.
I have Crohn’s disease and have really suffered from it the past few years. I’m currently in remission (so very little symptoms), but I take medication that requires me to stay well hydrated. Because of that, I need to use the bathroom fairly regularly, usually once every hour or two. I only leave when I genuinely need to and I’m not disruptive about it. No one has ever commented on it before.
We got a new lecturer this year who clearly doesn’t like people leaving mid-session. Over the past few weeks he’s made comments when I’ve gotten up, such as:
“Really? I let you all have a half hour break?”
“Think you should lay off the water”
“Do I not give you plenty of breaks?”
He’s also looked at his watch and shook his head when I’m leaving
Also made a comment to the class after I left saying “got the bladder of a 5 year old”
He’s told other students to “sort their life out!”
When he questions me, I usually just say I need the toilet and go anyway, or ignore him. I find it pretty disrespectful and rude, so bite my tongue.
I haven’t told him it’s medical. Partly because it’s personal, and partly because I feel it’s ridiculous and that adults shouldn’t have to justify using the bathroom.
I’m not trying to be difficult, I just go when I need to.
AITA for going to the toilet when I need to and not only during breaks?
NTA. I don’t think I can go 4 hours without using the bathroom anyway. It’s also very distracting needing a wee while you’re trying to focus. You’re not being disruptive so I think it’s totally fine. I did a week long training course last year and if I needed the loo I’d just get up and go.
You might benefit from mentioning to him that you have a medical issue. It also could make him think twice before ridiculing other people who go to the bathroom.
Almost certainly NTA because of all the lecturers comments, but info:
How long is it between breaks? Like if it is 45 min or something, I can see why they’re confused.
Also a quick “it is medical” would probably end the comments, and is hardly personal info. You shouldn’t *need* to say it to stop them, but it will probably stop them.
If you have a chronic disease then you may be eligible for accommodations. Check into that.
This isn’t an AH thing, really. But you’re being an AH to yourself if you haven’t filed the appropriate ADA accommodations with your training program. You can only claim your legal rights if you explicitly claim your legal rights.
Otherwise, you are just a person leaving the class outside of designated break times, and under some circumstances, it can reflect on your assessment.
That being said, the instructor is rude and his comments on a student’s hydration intake and bladder are inappropriate even if the student doesn’t have a disability. But inappropriate doesn’t necessarily mean actionable, which is why you have to assert your legal rights.
Thanks for advice. My employer, training partner and college are all aware of my health condition.
I just find it ridiculous that he’s being restrictive about this kind of stuff, but wanted to double check with others to see if I’m maybe in the wrong.
You or they then need to make sure the instructor is aware of any medical accommodations you’re entitled to. You don’t need to tell him the details, but keeping quiet about it isn’t doing yourself any favors.
So everyone *except* your professor knows..?
Of course the professor is being ridiculous with the comments but they are also the most important person to make aware of the need for a medical accommodation, especially if it is needed during their class time. Otherwise, you just look like someone who couldn’t be bothered to sit through the whole class like everyone else, and that could negatively impact your grade.
Professor needs to be reported to his supervisor for the comments, but OP- you have a medical condition and clearly require accommodations. You need to make the correct people aware of that (like your professor), regardless of how you feel about their class policies or attitude. You could have avoided this entire thing by informing your professor of the accommodations you require during his class from the beginning.
ESH.
NTA at all. 2 ways to handle it I see:
1. Go to admin. This is probably the “proper” way. Tell them the professor is publicly drawing attention every time you need to use the restroom and it’s unprofessional and unacceptable. Set up an accommodation with them if you need to so he has an official “leave them alone” note from his boss.
2. Stand up to him. Next time he makes a comment, stop completely and face him and say in front of everyone “I’m sorry that my personal medical issues are hurting your ego, I’ll be sure to mention it at my next doctors appointment and see if we can work around your insecurities. Until then please stop commenting on how I accommodate myself during your class”
You’re totally justified either way, but he sounds like a big enough dick that you either need to get his boss involved or embarrass him enough to get him to stop
NTA, and I fully agree with you that you shouldn’t have to justify your own bathroom use, but this is a situation where I think some public shame might do this professor some good. Next time you get up to leave and he makes a snide comment, I’d state loudly that you have a medical condition that requires frequent bathroom use and thank him for his concern.
If you’re in the US (or another country with disability accommodation rules), you should talk to your school/program about accommodation for your condition. They should talk to the lecturer who is totally in the wrong but also clearly needs education about disability and treating grown-ups like grown-ups. NTA
NTA. Professor might be on a power trip – I’ve never met a professor who cared if you got up to use the restroom.
Separately, it would be a good idea to let your school’s administration know about your Crohn’s diagnosis. In fact, if you’re American, access to the bathroom is covered under the ADA and thus any attempt to discourage you would be grounds for a lawsuit against the school. Also, your school’s administration could have a discussion with the professor without using your name and advise him to knock it off lest he expose his institution to a lawsuit.
Are you trying to handle this the least direct and most dramatic way possible? Just talk to the guy before/after class. This is basic stuff bud, come on. You’re NTA for having to use the bathroom. YTA for not just speaking to the guy privately. The industry you want to join is hyper regulated. Learn how to play by the rules now or you’re in for a hard career.
NTA, but speaking as someone who also has disabilities, I’d recommend speaking to administrators or the lecturers so they know ahead of time of any adjustments you may require.
This is something you’ll likely need to do for exams anyway and definitely in any job that you will hold in the future as well. I studied engineering myself and had some exams which were 4.5 long, and because of my disabilities I had stop the clock breaks and extra time provided as adjustments.
In most countries around the world there are laws which protect people with medical conditions in situations like this, so don’t feel like you are at fault, and look to get what you require
YTA for poor adulting skills. You have a medical condition that impacts your ability to be in class. That’s completely legit and accommodations are reasonable, BUT YOU AREN’T COMMUNICATING YOUR LEGITIMATE MEDICAL NEEDS to the people who need the info! Yes it’s private BUT YOU NEED ACCOMMODATION. No one can reasonably guess at your medical needs.
You should have dealt with this issue when you were accepted into the training program because you knew you would need accommodations. Since they’re no going back, NOW is the time to address the issue. Set an appointment to speak with the instructor outside of class. Calmly state your medical issue and the accommodation you need. Provide medical proof if required. The instructor should be willing to accommodate you. If they are not, escalate the issue to their superior.