My girlfriend and I recently moved in together. I has been truly great but we have different opinions regarding light usage.
During her childhood there were more financial constraints. Due to that she is used to worrying about every light being on for longer than it should be.
Our new living room has three lights while our anointed kitchen also has a light. She always turns off any more than two lights which are on at the same time and says thats already a concession as she wouldn’t leave on more than one light. I enjoy having having mood lighting. I get drowsy if a room is too dark. I have told my girlfriend as much. She says it is unnecessary and wasteful. Now that is the point that I am unable that I don’t understand. Around here the price of 1 kWh of electricity is around 35 Cents (Euro). This means running our main living room light for an extra hour costs 0,175 Cent(!). Leaving it on 3 EXTRA hours every day doesn’t even cost us 2€ a year. All our lights have LED bulbs so their cost is less or similar.
I understand that she is used to not having on a lot of lights due to her upbringing. I just don’t get why we’re constantly arguing about it if it is not a big factor in our expenses since the invention of LED lights has made lighting extremely cheap.
It is not like I don’t turn off lights if I leave a room. I just leave lights on in multiple rooms if I am moving between them, I plan on returning to that room in the near future or if I forgot to turn it off. I don’t leave them on maliciously to annoy her. AITA for not always turning off all but one or two lights in our apartment?
You’ve already calculated the cost per kilowatt hour. How many hours do you leave lights on per day that she would turn off? Calculate that cost and then multiply by 365 days per year and volunteer to pay that much extra on the electric bill each month. Maybe you pay 5 euro more than her each month.
More like 50 cents. LED lights are shockingly efficient. An entire apartments worth will use less than one old school incandescent.
If it’s a health problem, yeah. You know your own body more than anyone else.
If it’s a cost problem, you pay the difference.
NTA
NAH, it sounds like you both need to come to an agreement and understanding. Assuming your math is accurate, yes it is a small annual expense but she deserves some patience and may still be processing emotions from financial scarcity
NTA. It’s a pain shutting lights on and off. Your girlfriend is overreacting a little.
NAH. You just have different habits. That’s part of the normal growing pains of moving in with someone.
I suggest you both learn to not argue over such things. She doesn’t scold you when you leave the lights on, you don’t scold her when she turns them off. If she turns them off and you want them on at that time then ask her to turn them back on, and she should respect that. If she asks you to turn a light off as you leave a room and you aren’t using it then turn it off.
It is just basic respect. Don’t make issues over nothing.
This is really good advice. It’s called compromising, which is when both parties give a bit up to meet in the middle. You two really need to learn how to do this, not just for the lights, but overall.
NTA – for her to say that keeping the lights on so you’re not half-asleep (OP used the word drowsy) is wasteful is kinda hurtful tbh. I know she had a difficult upbringing with no money to spare but this is too far imo. Her opinion seems to be very harsh and not willing to compromise, not good for the relationship. I suggest you both figure out this, and any other differences that are too rigid asap. Good luck!
Your girlfriend might have had a case in the old days of incandescent light bulbs, but as you discovered, LED light bulbs cost very little indeed to run and also often have a lifespan of many years (ironically possibly shortened if you more frequently turn them off and on). It’s probably OCD behaviour to go around regularly turning off lights that don’t really need to be turned off.
Heck, if I go to bed and I realise I’ve left the lights on in another room, I don’t even bother getting out of bed to turn them off because it’ll cost me, what, 2p in electricity if l leave them on for 6-7 hours.
I’m from the lights off when you leave the room or house school of thought. It’s not much energy, but multiply that by how many households there are nationwide and worldwide. It’s a flick of a switch. But when you are in the room, turn on what’s comfortable.
When it comes to energy usage, it’s not only price that is a concern, but natural resources as well.
Natural resources are finite, and our ability to pay for their use doesn’t replace them. : )
Maybe you guys can come up with a compromise, i.e. LED lighting options, solar lamps, etc.
i though OP already said they have LEDs?
also please tell me, because i honestly don’t know, how does me leaving in 5 LED lights in my house use up “more natural resources” than the electricity power they pull?
if they are pulling, as OP said less than €2 a *year*, how is that a really impacting “natural resources” on the planet at all?
NTA, but she was raised this way to be conscious about financial insecurities, this will take a while to recover from. Showing her written proof of the efficiency of new LED lights and the lower costs might help. Working with her should help, but she’s got to be open minded to learn too.
Pay the light bill 100% every time. Tell her you get to use what you pay for. NTA