A bit of background. My first cousin once removed (my cousins son) has had a difficult few years. His father (my cousin) and grandfather (my uncle) both passed away within six months of each other last year. He also hasn’t seen his mother and two younger sisters in 3 years. His grandmother is grieving and spends most of her time in her bedroom. The kids at school give him a hard time and he is often a victim of bullying. We are pretty close and I see him as a little brother. This is the first time I’ve (24F) seen him (16M) since the loss of his dad and grandad so I’ve tried to be extra affectionate knowing he’s grieving and pretty much has no one to turn to. I give him extra hugs and kind words as well as movie nights. I also did his hair and its warmed my heart seeing how receptive he is to my gestures in trying to make him smile. A few hours ago while I was on my laptop, he sat down next to me and said he wished he could stay with my mom and I because he’s so happy here. This was like music to my ears so I got excited and said we’d love for you to stay here and gave him a side hug. We remained like that just relaxing with my arm over his shoulder and his head resting on my shoulder when my mom came in and started calling us all types of perverts. She said the most disgusting things about how incestuous and compromising our position was. She got so angry and threw insult after insult at both of us until she eventually kicked him out of our house. I am beyond livid. I’m no stranger to my mothers angry outbursts. It’s a common occurance but this is too much. She’s convinced we did something wrong when all it was was letting my cousin rest his head on my shoulder while I worked on my computer and his played on his phone. AITA for this situation. Was my behavior concerning, because if not, I’m ready to distance myself and move out immediately.
You know that you’re NTA.
NTA and your mom needs some therapy.
NTA. You were being kind to a younger relative. That your mom misinterpreted your act of kindness and reacted the way that she did says way more about her than it does about either you or your cousin.
NTA. There is absolutly nothing wrong about being close to a cousin and hug them or let them lean against you (as long as you both wore cloths at the time)
If you have the means to move out its best to get away from that kind of anger. NTA
NTA: Time to remove yourself from that toxic environment
NTA. As long as you are both comfortable with the affection, you did absolutely nothing wrong. Kudos to you for stepping up for this young lad.
NTA sounds like you were being a good supportive friend/family member. You’d do that sort of thing with friends, it doesn’t become sexual just because a sexual relationship would not be ok. Honestly, your mom reacting like that makes me think either she’s very sheltered conservative religious to have a problem with any physical contact, or that she or someone she knows was abused or an abuser and it was triggering.
I’d reach out to your cousin to check in and say your mom was wrong, and that you’re here for him.
NTA. Get out of that house and get that woman some therapy.
NTA.
How horrible of your mother to do that knowing how much your cousin is going through rn. That is so gross and mean.
No you didn’t do anything wrong. Your intentions were pure and his reception was also. Move out now and don’t let her ever hurt him or YOU again! I’m so mad for the both of you. What an AH your mom is.
Damn ! Your mom is trying to say she fucked her uncle without saying she fucked her uncle because nobody acts like that over what you described unless they fucked somebody. You are NOT the asshole! Your mom is.
NTA. Please talk to your cousin and let him know your mother was WRONG to go on that tirade. The poor kid is probably touch and attention starved from all his losses and abandonment. I hope he continues to find a safe space with you.
NTA but wtf is wrong with your mother!!! She is disgusting.
NTA but holy hell don’t let him move in with that terror of a human.