I’m a female. In middle school.
so I’ve had a group of 4 friends that has been together since 7th grade but in the beginning of this year the other two started treating me and my (besti) differently so we weren’t friends with them but i still consider my bestie as a close friend but in the beginning of the vacation she was acting weird with me and she wouldn’t respond to my messages even if am just asking about her and now when we’re back in school and she spend most of the time talking to other classmates and not even looking at me even tho she knows that they hate me.
Am i the ahole for starting to treat her the way she do to me?
Sorry for my poor language English isn’t my first language
NAH.
I know it probably feels like it is, but it’s probably not that deep. She may have a lot going on that you don’t know about, and she may not even realise she’s being rude.
But, likewise, you’re not an AH if you feel you need to politely distance yourself from her in order to preserve your own mental health. You can politely prioritise other friends for the moment, recognising that those other friends are prioritising you.
Look, nobody has to be your friend, and they’re not really being an AH if they want to let the friendship die off a bit. This is life. It can hurt, but you move on. Or maybe she’s just been busy and you’ll go back to being better friends in a few weeks.
I agree with this. Friends drifting apart is normal.
Well yeah everyone change but i don’t even recognise her anymore
I know that there’s a lot going on in her life but I’ve always tried to help her out. I really did my best even tho i was in my lowest i didn’t care about myself as much as i cared about her but she will just talk to anyone else and completely ignore me
It’s not like I’m treating her badly I just have sensitive and bubbly personality and i talk alot and sometimes she tells me to shut up wich hurt my feelings alot so that’s what i did but i didn’t ever scream at her or ignore her as much as she do
Hi I’m sorry you’re going through this ❤️ middle school is a big time of change in life as kids figure out who they want to be when they grow up and try different styles and hobbies and friends.
I’d say you’re NTA, and it stinks when friend groups change in school and you feel like you’re being left out. Maybe it’s a good time to try something new, like a club you’ve been curious about, where you can test it out and see if you get along with some kids you have a common hobby with. I bet other girls are going through this too and you never know who you’ll meet!
If you have a class with someone who seems really nice but quiet, like art class, try saying hi to them. Maybe they went through something similar. When my friends all started changing, I made new friends in those more hands on classes because we had a chance to talk while doing school stuff. And looking back on it, I was changing too!
Good luck, you got this!
Depends what you mean and how you plan on proceeding
NTA if things are just drifting apart. That happens. A lot. It’s normal and natural. There’s no inherent obligation to fight it. You’ll naturally find other friends just as they will.
However, deliberately treating anyone badly is an AH move. So let’s not go that far. It’s bad manners in any situation. However, specific to this situation, making it harder for someone to rekindle a friendship is only hurting yourself.
I could never treat her badly i still consider her as a friend even if she doesn’t and all i did was having a distance and not talking as much to her
NTAH unfortunately this is common behavior in middle school as young people are learning more about navigating friendships and creating their own boundaries. You can directly speak your friend and ask her what has changed, tell her you noticed the shift in her behavior towards you and it is hurtful. See what she says.
But in truth, it is time for you to explore new friends groups, ones that are supportive and fun, creative and solid. Middle school is a time of drama and hormones, but also a time of growing stronger and smarter. Be true to yourself, and didn’t retaliate against her. Just move on.
Friendships change a LOT in middle school. This happened to me as well. I suggest finding new friends who want to spend time with you . I was alone for a few years after this happened to me. Eventually made great friends my freshman year. This is a normal thing that happens in middle school. Find other kids with similar hobbies , join a club that interests you. Find ppl who like yo for you! Don’t be worried. You’ll make new friends .
I’m not judging a middle schooler. JFC.
But I will comment to say that I’m going to be so bloody happy when someone finally creates an “AITA Junior” sub so that middle schoolers and teenagers stop asking thousands of adult strangers to get involved in their schoolyard nonsense.
Also, why TF is a middle schooler on Reddit at all? Do you not have parents?!