AITA for letting my little brother buy his girlfriend a gift for Christmas? I (f26) am raising my little brother (m14). He has a girlfriend (f15) who is being raised by her grandparents. They have been together about 10 months. Its really a school relationship since the grandma wont let them see eachother outside of school. The girlfriend likes to do makeup and has mentioned that she does her makeup while sitting on the floor. So for Christmas he found a cute little vanity desk on Amazon that he spent $60 on. Before he bought it, he talked to her brother and grandpa to make sure that she would have room for it in her room and they said it was fine. The vanity was a bit to big to wrap, so he told her what it was and we brought it after school to put in her grandma’s car. The grandma didnt say anything about it while we put it in the car. We found out later from the gf that the grandma was pissed because it was "inappropriate" and she wasnt allowed to keep it. So I texted her asking why she felt it was inappropriate. She called me going off saying that a boy shouldn’t be giving her furniture. I said that I didnt see it as inappropriate and that I dont see why it being furniture makes it inappropriate. It’s Christmas and he got her a thoughtful gift that he worked hard for. She told me not to give her attitude and not to tell her how to raise her granddaughter, which i wasnt. I was simply explaining our point of view. Was it an inappropriate gift? AITA for allowing him to get it for her?
Every now and again a post comes up that I think to myself “do they actually think they are assholes?”.
This is one of them.
NTA…grandma is likely jealous because she didn’t think of such a thoughtful gift. It’s a $60 Amazon vanity. Not that serious.
Awesome of you to support this. Fuck granny.
More likely it’s that Grandma is totally against this relationship for her own, personal, probably nutty reasons.
OP- NTA
NTA, and how could you possibly think you are. What is wrong with granny? And know what, the grandfather is TA frankly for not standing up for you since he’d spoken with you prior.
NTA at all and your brother sounds like a sweetheart. You’re clearly doing a great job raising him.
NTA. This sounds almost like projection on grandma’s part: maybe she’s upset at the idea someone else got her granddaughter furniture, like it was embarrassing or something, and is twisting it around to be about your brother.
It sounds like you’re doing a great job. Teenaged boys need more women role models like you in their lives.
NTA and grandma is doing a great job of ensuring the girl moves away as soon as she can.
Nta. In 5 years she’ll be saying “huh why doesn’t my granddaughter talk to me?” That’s just evil for no good reason
NTA.
His attention to her should be encouraged not punished by the gfs grandma. Sounds like a misunderstanding that could be resolved by a calm conversation with the grandma.
Possibly she’s coming at this from the perspective: it’s an expensive gift (at their age), and she doesn’t want the girl to feel endebted to your brother? (Dunno how you spell that.) Like, in some cases, boys use gifts as a way to pressure girls, I guess? Also, if their family is less affluent, it could be a sore spot? NTA, but there are potential reasons for her behavior that don’t necessarily make her TA, either. Her husband shouldn’t have told y’all it was okay, though.
nta!!! your brother is being raised correctly because he’s noticing her needs without her ever saying something or asking, he’s just doing it. please tell him don’t let this discourage him and don’t let it discourage you to raise him any other way. i know so many grown adults who would love for their partners to see exactly what your brother is seeing 🥹😭
NTA I hope there is some way to have a conversation with the grandma and maybe grandpa too, to try to bring her around. What your brother did was incredibly thoughtful and sweet. He didn’t buy her a new car or lingerie or anything I could ever see as “inappropriate.” It was a reasonably priced vanity that she will love and be able to use.
NTA- your brother sounds quite thoughtful and considerate. imo, granny is controlling and possibly embarrassed she can’t afford such a nice gift? or she upset that she can’t stop the relationship from happening at all.
your younger brother did absolutely nothing wrong. he is very sweet. he may have to settle for writing poems or taking a nice picture of the two of them together for her to never show her granny. until she moves out and never talks to granny again in the future.
Um, Granny needs to go talk to Gramps about this. He said it was fine. Now this poor girl loses out on a kind gesture from her boyfriend cause Granny got her panties in a bunch.
nta
NTA, especially since you spoke to grandpa about it and got his ok – assuming he is also the girl’s legal guardian you would have no reason to check with her.
I’d be tempted to tell her that her husband approved of the gift before your son purchased it. Her head might explode.