I (30M) live in an apartment with one of my friends (29M). I’ve been dating this girl for a few months and she stays over often (5 nights a week). My roommate hasn’t said he’s against that part or anything, but has now voiced frustration over the fact that she has recently got a new job (working nights) and so comes over after her she clocks out to sleep. I’m not there during the day due to my job, but I trust her. He’s saying that she shouldn’t be there when I’m not present, but I don’t see the issue at all and think he’s being selfish. AITA?
YTA. Your GF is just sleeping there now, and not with you. Your roommate is paying half the rent & bills for three people.
It doesn’t sound like she pays rent or is on the lease. She’s interfering with your roommate, and he has a right to object. YTA.
YTA, you may trust her but that doesn’t mean your roommate does. She can be there as your guest but letting her come over anytime she she wants is something that requires your roommate’s approval.
YTA. Your gf is already there too much. Your roommate signed up to live with you, not a couple. She’s increasing the costs associated with utilities that your roommate is being saddled with paying for. If the two of you want to play house then move into her place. And he’s right, she shouldn’t be there so much with you not being there. She’s supposed to be an occasional guest, not a tenant. If anyone is being selfish, it’s definitely you.
YTA – She doesn’t live there. Does she contribute at all to the household? 5 nights a week is almost every night. That’s a lot for a person not paying rent. It’s not unreasonable for your roommate to not want to share the space all the time with someone who doesn’t live there especially when you’re not even there.
Yta
YTA. She’s basically living there and thus needs to pay her share of the rent and utilities (and food?).
YTA, your roommate is being generous by not having a problem with her being over five nights a week(!!) when you’re there. Not wanting guests in the house when the person whose guest they are isn’t home is a completely normal roommate rule.
Does she pay rent? Nope. She’s a guest. Guests stay a couple times a week. Co-renters live there. She’s a non-paying roommate your REAL roommate doesn’t want living with him.
Tell your gf to go to her own home. Maybe you can go stay at HER house 5 night/days a week & give your roommate the privacy he PAYS for.
YTA
YTA, big time.
This has nothing to do with trust. She’s not paying rent, and she shouldn’t be there when you aren’t there.
It’s bad enough you were having her stay over five nights a week when, again, it’s not her apartment. That is way excessive when you have a roommate.
She needs to sleep at her own place. If you want to live and sleep together the vast majority of the time, you two need your own place. You’re being a really shitty roommate.
YTA. The lease needs to be reassessed if she’s there to that extent. She’s there to spend time with you – not to crash while you’re not there.
YTA
If you want to live with your girlfriend, the ..move out and do it. Otherwise she can go to her own home to sleep and not the one that’s being paid for by your roommate/you.
Total YTA. She’s your GUEST so she should only be there when you are.
Otherwise she needs to chip in on rent and utilities.
Also, when I was still sharing, I often tried to be with fewer people because I also liked having the place to myself. I’d be livid if my precious and already rare alone time was basically obliterated for my roommates gf/bf WHEN THEY’RE NOT PAYING RENT.
You’re totally fucking over your roommate. Etiquette says couples should split their time across both places if both share with others.
Edit: mixed up a word
YTA and you are the one being extremely selfish and disrespectful to your roommate.