Hi, I need a quick judgement, since theres still tickets available on the website. So in addition to our regular presents we’ve gotten our daughter a ticket to a concert happening on the 30th. I’m going too, primarily because I need to take her, but also I like that band’s music and I want to go with her it’ll be a nice experience.
Today, my sister in law (my husband’s sister) called me and asked what we were doing on New Year’s Eve (we’re having a Christmas family dinner as it is). I said I’m not sure I’ll probably be super tired from the drive back(the concert is on the 30th and so we’re staying there overnight before driving back) and told her we’d gotten our daughter a surprise concert ticket. She seemed a bit disappointed and said her daughter would have loved to go too, asked if tickets were available, I said I didn’t know, and she reiterated her daughter would have loved to go too. I hate saying it, and please don’t take this the wrong way but my husband has his business and I’m a working professional too, and our daughter is an only child, so I understand the difference in spending constraints. Anyway we hung up later and I felt terrible. I looked it up and there are still tickets available. But also if I get her a ticket for her with the confirmation wrapped up like I’m doing for my daughter, and give it to her to be opened at the dinner, my husband’s brother’s daughter would then be the one feeling left out. So AITA for not buying her a concert ticket?
Edit: To clarify I meant if I get my niece the ticket I’d have to give it to her at dinner in front of my other niece. The gifts we’re getting our daughter will be opened by her on Christmas morning.
Edit: Thought about it some more after reading the comments and I’m not going to do it. It just won’t be the kind of experience I wanted us to have if I do. And I really do adore my nieces and its not even really about the cost I just want this to be me and her. Thank you for the help!
Girl no this is a gift for your child, if her daughter would’ve loved to go she could’ve saved up. NTA.
I say Girl regardless of gender but will take it out if you’d prefer OP
As someone for whom it is all too easy to say, “oh honey” to random strangers on the internet this made me laugh. 🤭 Hugs, if you want them. 🫂
I’m a dude but if I’m asking for advice and you start with “Girl,” I already know it’s gonna be good advice
Thank you! I’m not the original commenter, but I got shamed the other day for saying, “Girl. No.”
I guess I have to go see if there’s any yoots walking on my lawn now.
NTA, your sister in law expecting you to buy her daughter a concert ticket out of nowhere is crazy
And stay at hotel and several meals. Plus daughter wouldn’t even be able to sit with them. Does she really want her daughter to be sitting alone at a concert or two young girls together alone and dad to take other ticket?
That’s a good point about not being together to supervise both girls.
NTA. This is an experience with your daughter. You’re not obligated to include your niece no matter how much she would like it (per her mom). And you’re right, it would open a can of worms with other kids in the family. Just go enjoy the time with your daughter!
NTA She’s trying to guilt trip you into buying it so she doesn’t have to. To fall for the obvious trap.
NTA. Tell your SIL if she ends up buying tickets for her and her daughter to let you know and you’d love to meet up at the concert. Then you aren’t excluding anyone but you also aren’t taking on any additional burden besides coordinating a meetup. Which again, should be inside the concert.
This is the way.
Keeps the peace with the family and you can always say you were inclusive by inviting them to meet up at the concert after you found out your niece is a fan of that band.
Puts the ball in your sister in-laws court and gets you out of babysitting your niece for the night.
NTA. This sounds like a slippery slope, too. Will it be expected that you take her daughter to every experience you plan for your own going forward? Concerts are announced well in advance – your SIL could have started saving or coordinating with you at any point in the last year.
Please don’t buy the niece a ticket after being hijacked by her mother. It won’t be the last time she does this if you do. And yes, your other niece will be hurt. Even if you gave the ticket quietly, the other niece WILL find out.
And now you know not to tell her stuff.