I (27F) still live with my family and it’s been okay for the most part. Problem is that my parents will sometimes open my mail. I’ve managed to collect any mail that’s sent for me immediately before they can get to it. My mom handed me mail that’s was meant for me and asked what it was. I looked at it and it was a resolution offer. I technically owe $800. Now, to prevent issues, I lied to her and told her it was merely junk mail. Her excuse for opening my mail was that she thought a check was sent for me. Now, I am very unhappy she opened my mail, and I’ve tried to get the letters sent to me to be paperless but to no avail. I’ve lied to keep the peace and to move on.
I feel guilty for lying, but by lying, I wanted to prevent her from worrying about things that don’t really concern her. Am I the asshole for lying?
NTA. It’s illegal to open other people’s mail. Lie all you like, you’re 27 not 7, it’s none of her business.
Her opening your mail is illegal. NTA
Get a P.O. box
NTA
NTA. You are an adult and have a right to privacy.
so if it had been a check why would that mean she opens it? i dont understand that part.
NTA.
It was none of her business, and honestly, “I don’t want to discuss my mail” should be your go-to for all inquiries going forward.
The fact that she opens your mail is actually a federal offense, to say nothing of a massive boundary violation. Also the “I thought it was a check” thing is concerning– was she planning to take it, or…?
NTA you’re an adult, have been for almost 10 years. I’m an adult who lives at home too and while they don’t open my mail (big no no in our family, always has been) my dad is so nosey about my packages. Asking non stop what I ordered and why. It’s frustrating but now I’m just thankful he doesn’t open them. Maybe get a PO box so you can have some privacy?
NTA, if it was from one of those “debt resolution” outfits it probably is junk.
NTA. It’s not her mail. Also, that’s pretty illegal.
NTA. But you need a PO box if you want to hide stuff if your nosy parents want to act like you are a kid by opening your mail.
Get a P.O Box – tell mom to stop opening your mail or you will start to open hers.
Rent a post office box. No mail coming to her house=no snooping by Momma.
You are a full grown woman.
NTA
NTA. Get a P.O. Box. They are pretty cheap.
You’re an adult. If you don’t like them opening your mail and it’s a problem, get a PO box.