I(19f) am in college. This is my first year and honestly it’s been tough for me having to leave all my friends behind. I’m in a class this semester that I was really enjoying up to this point, I was talking and engaging with the teacher which I don’t normally do since I’m moderately shy.
This leads to today we’re discussing rhetoric and arguments. Our groups were given modes of persuasion (mine was pathos which is emotions) we had to convince our prof to give us money. Our group decided to do a sad/comical story about one of my pets who I’ve had for a very long time needing vet treatment. (I was fake crying while we played the ASPCA music, the whole nine yards) A girl in the group behind us, who I think was salty because they weren’t very convincing, asked me very rudely why I would pick up some random cat if I wasn’t financially stable. I told her I’ve had her since 3rd grade to which she gave me a look and I told her “When you’re in 3rd grade and you have a job and money come talk to me” (I feel like i shouldn’t have to say this but no third graders are going to have a job and I said this in a fake sad voice to go along with my act) my prof goes we don’t need to be mean.
We move on to another group, at the end of the class the prof goes does anyone need to dish anything out or air out any grievances. I hear the girl mumble and my prof says what do you need to say and she says “I don’t even know what you were trying to say to me earlier.” I repeated what she said earlier and then repeated what I said. She told me “that doesn’t even make any sense” I said it’s not supposed to make sense it’s a joke. Then a guy from my group chimes in and says yeah because third graders can’t get jobs and you said she should’ve been financially stable as a third grader. I told her I can apologize to you after class if you need because I seriously didn’t mean to hurt your feelings.(Because she looked mad and if I knew it would’ve hurt her feelings I wouldn’t have said it) She said that’s not necessary I just don’t understand why you said that) So I reiterate that it’s was a nonsense joke and it wasn’t supposed to make any sense. Then the prof decides to go on a spiel about how we’re adults and need to be nice to each other and how nonsense jokes aren’t funny.
AITA for this because it hurt my feelings that she’s acting like I defamed her family or something. I’ll probably delete this later but I really just want to know if I was being rude.
NTA.
You were in the middle of a class exercise that was literally about using emotional persuasion and acting. Your comment about third graders having jobs was clearly a sarcastic joke responding to her criticism that you should have been financially stable when you got the cat. Most people would understand the point you were making.
She was the one who first criticized your story and did it pretty rudely. Your response wasn’t a personal attack, it was pointing out how unrealistic her comment was.
You even handled it pretty maturely afterward by offering to apologize if she felt hurt, which is more than many people would do.
Your professor probably stepped in just to keep the classroom calm, not necessarily because you did something terrible. Overall, this sounds more like an awkward classroom moment than you actually being rude
Thank you for this. Do you think it would make it better if I apologized anyway I don’t even know this girl or her name and I feel genuinely mortified that she probably hates me now over a misunderstanding.
Seems that the joke was taken far far too seriously but that’s not really your fault, I’d say NTA on your part. Professor is probably an asshole as they didn’t take any action to defuse and allowed the childish argument to happen
NTA
Your classmate interrupted your presentation to make an absurd and out-of-place comment about a fictional story you made up for a class assignment
So
1) She had no business interrupting in the first place because you’re presenting YOUR assignment
2) She had no reason to say anything about a fictional story you’re making up for an assignment because IT’S NOT REAL
3) Her comment is extremely stupid, and a sarcastic response was the mildest reaction she deserved
I agree with the person who said that your teacher probably wanted to keep the peace rather than point out something you did
It is hard to tell which one of you is autistic.
That means it’s you
Nta- I wouldnt even apologize now, just let it go. Sometimes people are just not going to like you. Be polite to her like you would anybody else, but do not go out of your way to talk to her. She was wrong and was probably embarrassed so she doubled down.
NTA my only note is you don’t need to publicly declare to someone you’ll apologize to them later
You’re right, looking back that was rude and I probably should’ve waited until later. I was kind of irked that she wanted to talk about it publicly and I wasn’t thinking straight. :/
not rude, just strange
Nta. A lot of times, when people are hostile towards us, it’s not because of something we did–it’s because of who they are. She’s the unhappy one, and your retort was funny.
In general, it’s okay to apologize just to keep the peace, but don’t let people like that get you down.
Honestly, I found your comment hilarious. Props to you. Ignore the girl. It’s a meaningless thing. But if you see someone is set on their opinion/reaction, let it go. And don’t tell people on public forum that you can apologise to them later. And don’t tell people you can apologise if you need to.