AITA for making a joke about white people to a black person?
I (28F) am white. My coworkers "Susan" and "Linda" are African Americans. I was talking to Susan and we were joking about how pasty I am. For reference I am severaly anemic and you can usually see my veins. I was telling her about a comment my colleague roommate made about how white people are the result of a genetic mutation. Idk if this is true but thought it was funny. My old roommate used to say that the gene that makes the melanin is calcified causing us to be white. Susan thought it was funny, and made a joke about white people infected. We laughed. Later on while working next to Linda, Susan said tell Linda. When I told Linda she made a weird face. I asked if everything is okay. She said that she thinks that I am rasict and hate black people. The word black never came out of my mouth. Susan was also confused. When I asked how I could remedy the situation (thought maybe she misheard). Susan did as well. She refused to talk to us for rest of night. So AITA or racist? #AITA #rasict?
The comments are unhinged. Your joke was benign, and only someone actively looking for reasons to be offended could possibly find something racist about it.
NTA
Thank you for your input. I just didn’t want to upset anyone. I am really am mad at myself for the comment in the first place.
NTA . You were literally making fun of yourself and white people. That’s not racism against Black people
Thank you for your input. I am just still confused about the whole interaction. Usually I am pretty bad on picking up social situations.
Don’t worry you’re not racist, weird to find that offensive. Nothing about that joke was even associated with Linda and the color of her skin. Unless you said it in an extremely weird way.
My exact words were ” my old roommate told me that white people are a genetic mutation because our melanin gene is calcified”. I don’t think I said it weirdly. Maybe I did. At this point I don’t even know anymore.
I feel like there’s some sort of misunderstanding somewhere
NTA. Susan found it funny and was the one who suggested you tell Linda the joke. I believe you were only trying to be social. This is a good life lesson for you, though. Don’t tell race jokes at work, even if they’re directed at yourself. People have gotten in trouble with HR for less.
Thank you for your input. I really was worried. Now I just have to get through work tomorrow.
NTA!! In no way was this a knock towards POC at all! Being pale is a thing. I joke that I’m glow in the dark cuz I, too, can see my veins. Anyone who finds your remark offensive needs surgery to remove the stick outta their @$$!
But I guess for future reference, know that Linda doesn’t have a sense of humor & doesn’t get to be in on ANY of the jokes.
I make the glow in the dark jokes as well. I have on coworker who make jokes that if the light shut off he using me as a flashlight.
It sounds like you had a fun laugh in the moment and when trying to recreate the joke the timing failed. However – race jokes will ALWAYS divide and are not really good for anyone. And they are so easily misunderstood.
I am a foreigner living in Germany and before I really felt at home here I would always make jokes about how “Germans are like this or that etc”. My German ex boyfriend always used to get angry and at that point I didn’t understand why.
However, my current boyfriends family (who are asian) makes white ppl jokes all the time and talk about how white people are like this or that. As the only white person at the table I am sitting there completely defenseless, and I feel unwelcomed and also as if noone really likes me. Having said similar comments myself in the past (about how Germans are) I know that they come from a feeling of being excluded or feeling like an underdog in society (either that – or they’re just racist). But they still create a rift whenever they’re said, it doesn’t matter if it’s directed at yourself or at anyone else. But its better not to make them. You never actually know if someone will enjoy it or feel uncomfortable.
Nta bc it wasn’t intentional but in the future maybe jus steer away from commenting on race in the workplace
Maybe don’t racial jokes at work—at all. It can be awkward, and it is unprofessional. Just apologize for the general inappropriateness of it all. Just because the other people are black people doesn’t mean they feel comfortable with laughing at jokes about white people. Stick to talking about the weather and hobbies.
Soft YTA