My husband’s family dynamic is a little different. So for the sake of this post when I say "MIL" it’s actually his grandma, but she is like a mother to him. And when I say "SDIL" it’s not his step-dad, it more of a fatherly figure that used to date his actual mom but is close with his grandma.
My husbands family has never liked me, and I’ve tried my best to kind of fit in atleast. I’ve tried my best to show them love and kindness, but they always have something negative to say. I figure I would try to mend our relationship this year at Thanksgiving, so me and my husband decided to host Thanksgiving. So we all got up early and started making food, and while the Turkey was cooking we went to my SDILs families house for an hour or so. My SDIL has always made jokes picking fun at me for my weight, looks, and personality. So while we were eating at SDILs families house I did the same, one of the jokes I said was "Atleast I’m married." and SDIL even laughed. After a while we went back to our house. I took a little nap, and while I was napping my husband went to go pick up his brother. When my husband got back he woke me up angrily and told me his whole family was eating without us. It ended in a giant fight between my husband and his family.
This morning we woke up to a call from SDIL and he said "I never want to see your wife again, she’s not funny. I don’t want an apology or explanation." I was really hurt by this and started crying. I texted my MIL saying I probably won’t be there for Christmas. She instantly blew up on me. In short she said "You’re evil and what you said is disgusting. You’ve brainwashed my son to be evil."
I tried apologizing and she hasn’t answered my text. AITO?
Sounds like he can fling it but can’t return the volley.
It sounds like something in this story is missing. I don’t know about the other jokes you made, but the joke about SDIL not being married doesn’t sound like something that would evoke that kind of reaction from your in-laws, especially given that it went over somewhat well at first. My gut says that someone said something behind your back that wasn’t true and that they’re “poisoning the waterhole” so to speak.
Either we’re missing a big part of this story or it’s made up. I don’t even know what to do with this.
I’m a little confused where they all ate Thanksgiving dinner since OP was going to host. Someone just had a spare family Thanksgiving dinner that they brought out?
It’s all just a little too convoluted to make sense of. And the husband woke her up angrily after having a fight with his family? I dunno man.
NTA, but I wouldn’t go texting with the MIL. Sounds like your husband is fully taking your side, this is a situation for you to maintain radio silence and let him deal with his own family.