Recently my partner has been allowing the trash to be completely filled for days before the cleaners get there to take it out. The last straw for me was when the garabage was not only completely full (to the point you couldn’t push down on it anymore), but also quite smelly from the food that was decaying in the bin. I finally took it out myself as I was having friends over for the night and didn’t want the smell and fullness to ruin the night as it’s right next to our dining table where the group would be sitting.
The next day I told them that was disrespectful for them to leave it so full for the cleaners especially when it’s been like that for days. Their response was "we specifically pay them to take it out."
I don’t think having trash in there is a problem, but feel that letting it sit for days just so they can take it out for us is disrespectful to them.
Since we disagreed so much on the topic we’ve turned to reddit to declare if I am the asshole for making an argument over trash?
Edit – To answer the bulk of the questions about who’s responsible for what. Taking out the trash is my partner’s responsibility as I’m responsible for the cat litter. Both dirty jobs and we split to make a bit more even.
Welp Don’t marry them
NTA. That’s just gross.
Info- why does it sound like you think taking out the trash is your partner’s responsibility and you taking it out is a last resort? Isn’t it your trash, too?
I think they got their jobs divided like most of the couples. If that is the, then OP is NTA.
INFO: Why not just take the trash out if that’s your preference?
Info: can you not take turns taking it out? Having decaying garbage in the house for days is gross but why is it solely your boyfriend’s responsibility?
Update: OP hadn’t included that it was their partner’s assigned job in their original post. Since it is, I’m changing my vote to NTA
I mean, why didn’t you just take it out when you noticed it was full? If I notice the trash is full, I take it out. If my husband notices it’s full, he takes it out. I happen to take it out more often because I WFH so I’m here more, and because I do most of the cooking (he does all the laundry and cleans the bathroom, which IMO is a fair trade for cooking most nights).
I agree that it’s ridiculous to let it sit there waiting for the cleaners, who I assume only come once a week? But unless you’ve agreed at some point prior to now that it’s your partner’s job to take it out exclusively, then I don’t get why it was his problem.
ESH
eta: if I ask my husband to take the trash out, he will without hesitation or complaint
If it bugs you, just take it out yourself? I don’t understand why it’s an argument. I like a made bed, my partner couldn’t care less if its made, therefore I make the bed… he likes the kitchen spotless before we start cooking, I don’t mind a few dishes, therefore he does the dishes… it’s really not hard.
If you see something you think needs doing, just do it?
get a bigger trash can with a lid maybe? One that can last the time between cleaners?
NTA. No one wants to smell rotting food. And even if your partner is okay with it, you’re not, and since you’re doing the litters, fair is fair. To the partner: make an effort.
NTA. I see that its your husband’s responsibility to take the trash out. And he’s now decided he doesn’t have to because you have cleaners to do that. He’s a dirty boy, and lazy. First, how disrespectful of him to leave overflowing, stinky trash for another person to toss. He’s creating a burden beyond normal cleaning for your cleaner. Second, hes being disrespectful to you. You are doing your litter box job. Imagine if you just quit and said, oh the cleaners will take care of it.
Partner should stop being lazy and take out the trash. It’s not hard.
Given that he agreed to the “you empty the trash, I scoop the catbox(es)” division of labor, you are definitely NTA. He is shirking a responsibility he agreed to take on, I suspect because he thinks that paying for the housecleaning service relieves him of having to do it anymore. (To be clear, I am presuming that the service is actually a shared expense, which means that his belief is only accurate if the service also takes care of the cat litter, and it sounds as though they don’t.) If he were living up to the agreement he made, he would be emptying the kitchen trash every time it got full or smelly between visits from the cleaners, and the service would be emptying all of the other trash cans in the house (plus the kitchen trash if it was full or smelly on the day they cleaned) when they come.