i work at a burger joint in a really small town. I used to walk to work, but then I got a car and became manager. my coworker is the grill cook and actually trained me and we had a good report.
I started offering them rides to work , and before work, we go to convenience store and get food to make together and we would spend our lunch break together. i took her to the superstore to get groceries and she gave me seeds to plant.
But now I feel differently about her because she cussed at me in front of everybody. she told me to fucking act like a manager because a few of us were vaping and talking while she was in a rush. i think shes a hypocrite because she goes on smoke breaks and drinks and gets high at work just like everybody else. she acts insubordinate when I ask her to do anything besides grill, she doesn’t cover or help me get things done around the store. i’m not allowed to delegate her pretty much.
she works hard and I think she deserves to be paid way more and she’s undervalued by our boss, but on the other hand….
i still gave her a ride home after this because she invited herself into my truck without asking, and I could’ve been confrontational but I decided to just take her home. its a short car ride and we live close but in my opinion she ruined our interpersonal relationship and I honestly don’t wanna be around her because this sort of incident has happened more than once. my conscience feels bad because this is an old lady who misses work because she’s sick a lot but she also called me a bitch during closing for no reason other than that she was tipsy
INFO: Are you the manager?
yes i think im pretty good at my job i try very hard to look after the store and customers food
I’m wondering if this post is even real. The first half is about how they’re the boss and this girl is a crappy employee. The second half is about their boss sucking and she’s a great employee who deserves more pay.
i have complicated feelings about her, she is a competent employee and has never gotten a raise. I don’t think it’s right that younger teenagers get paid more than her.
Keep in mind OP is telling us that multiple employees are drinking and getting high while on the clock and they… the manager, know about it.
Not the A. She is insubordinate and disrespectful. You found a way to save up and get a car but she has not helped herself over those years. She spends her money on drugs but not savings for a vehicle. You are not responsible for her life or bad choices. And you definitely do not owe her anything after her insubordination.
NTA for not giving her rides anymore. A lift is a favor, not part of her compensation, and she’s repeatedly crossed lines with you. It makes sense to protect your peace. One small step that might help: calmly tell her, “I’m not comfortable giving you rides anymore,” and leave it at that, no big explanation.
i had an easy time telling her not to expect rides TO work but it feels super callous telling this old jaded woman to go walk home in the cold dark. but I think the approach I will use is to just ask why she wants a ride from me because it’s clear that she doesn’t like me
Rapport was the word you were looking for, report has several meanings but not, I believe, the one you intended
Nta. Tell her you’re not heading in that direction and to have a good night. Rinse and repeat until she stops asking for rides.
lol!! Read it again… OP is the manager and is either getting drunk/high with their subordinates or they know their subordinates are getting high/drunk on the clock and they aren’t doing anything about it.
There is no scenario where everyone involved isn’t an ah.
ESH
Every single one of you is an ah for this reason alone.
” i think shes a hypocrite because she goes on smoke breaks and drinks and gets high at work just like everybody else.”
First off, you’re right. If she’s doing it too, then she’s an ah. That said, you’re a manager and you’re getting high at work and you allow your subordinates to drink and get high while at work?!? Seriously… Do you have any idea how dangerous this is?! You really should look into the dangers and liability on that shit. Drunk/high people have NO BUSINESS operating machines such as a grill or frialator.
Once you were promoted, that should have been the end of your out of work relationship with your coworker. And her reaction is a perfect example of WHY you don’t have friendships with subordinates who are clearly not mature enough to tell the difference between “work Steve” and “out of work Steve”.
It’s mind blowing to me that people… ADULTS.. Think it’s okay to drink and get high while they’re at work. Quite honestly, the owner either needs to be more present or they need to sell their business. If they don’t know what’s going on, they need to be made aware. If they do, they shouldn’t own a business.
ESH
Every one of you are assholes. You’re a manager. You need to start acting like it. If there’s a rush, you help out. You don’t smoke! And none of you should be getting drunk/high at work. It’s a job. You’re there to work.