Context: my gf (26 f) recently had her birthday. I (30 m) wanted to do something so decided we’d go see her friend a couple of states away who is a tattoo artist. (She had previously started some work on both of us and we were planning on finishing them with her at some point. )
i had told her i woild put $300 towards her tattoo if we went. But I had taken a self care day this past week and got my hair cut, and a massage, thinking that I would still have enough to pay for her tattoo. this was planned pretty far in advance and this past friday was the day we were to leave. She drives an e.v. and I drive a gas car so to save money is asked if she could drive.
She decided to drive and pay for the food and stuff since I was paying for the tattoo. Her friend who does the tattoos was booked all day, but since they’re close and we traveled a long ways she decided she would stay late and get us both in.
(She Started at 9 am. ) my girlfriend gets in the chair at about 8pm and finishes part of her sleeve around midnight. Her friend told her "it was your birthday this past week so its free" but She still comes over and asks for the money,
I had only $90 left so I hand her that and She acted a bit surprised, but then went and got her wallet out of the car and handed her friend $300. Her friend then asked if I wanted to have some work done. I really did but knew I didnt have the money so I told her friend "I really do, but its up to her because im out of money" my girlfriend then says "sure I’ll pay for it" and I went back and her friend worked on my sleeve until around 4 a.m. so that leads to today and she’s driving back and says "that really upset her and she doesnt want me to plan anymore birthday trips for her."
I say "gotchya" and thought that was the end of it, but she didnt like me just saying gotchya and said "she felt pressured to let me get work done and that I should see why shes upset" . I said "Im sorry and I dont know what else to say. " I said her feeling are valid and anytime shes upset shes allowed to be upset and thats valid. I feel like she’s making a big deal out of this, but I’m wondering AITA?
YTA for telling her you’d pay for something and then spending all your money on yourself. Making promises you can’t keep is not a good look.
Info: are you actually insane not seeing how rude you were?
YTA. You arranged this for her bd then she had to pay for herself AND for you.
You said you would put $300 towards her tattoo and then didn’t have 300 dollars to put towards the tattoo? If you are broke why did you go on a trip
Sounds like you planned a trip and she had to pay for the entire thing because you can’t budget your money. Then you guilted her into paying for your tattoo on top of it. YTA of course.
Yta you didn’t plan a trip for her. You made her do and pay for everything because you’re a 30 year old that hasn’t figured out how to budget. How do you not know how much money you have and that you can’t afford to pay for it? If you want to still have a girlfriend you owe her the money back and should do something nice for her birthday
So she drove her car, paid for all the food, and the paid for YOU to get a tattoo?! And this after you to her you’d give HER $300?! And you had nothing to say except that her feelings are valid? That’s super dismissive disguised as being understanding.
YTA. Hahaha why is she even dating you?
You said you’d pay $300, and then somehow before you went on the trip, you don’t have that, but you didn’t think of telling her that beforehand?
And then since you knew you don’t have money, you should have said no to getting work done and not put the pressure on her saying it’s up to her but you really want to. Like hello?
And she drove for the trip and paid for food and stuff? Dude you were basically a leech on her birthday. You didn’t take her out. She should have just gone alone and she’d have saved more money (no need to buy food for you or pay for your tattoo). Dude seriously hahaha this has to be a bait. If not, please get it together, pay her back for both her tattoo and your own at least. Hahaha honestly, I haven’t seen such a post in a while I thought the OP is such a big L that it’s actually amusing.
I’m sorry? Your gf paid for you to get a tattoo on her own birthday after you promised you’d pay for hers and then spent your money on yourself and now you think she’s overreacting? Choosing to believe this isn’t real bc what the fuck
“AITA for spending my gf’s bday money on a massage for myself after telling her it was for her tattoo?” bro you’re not broke you’re stupid. YTA
YTA learn how to budget. Ur 30 wtf why r u promising to pay and then saying oops on the day. Horribly manipulative behavior
So you told her you’d put 300 towards a gift and then spent more than 2/3 of that on yourself? Then asked your GF if she would pay for you to get a tattoo too? Yeah…YTA.
Dude, you aren’t boyfriend material. (I wrote something harsher but got pulled on it so couldn’t post it) You make her drive, she pays for food, she pays the majority of her tattoo cost, pays for yours and it was HER birthday trip. And you don’t even get why she’s upset. I hope she dumps you. YTA.
YTA
You got a haircut and massage days before the trip? You KNEW you couldn’t afford to do these things. Selfish prick. If you don’t pay her back, and not just monetarily, if she doesn’t dump you, I will.