( This is my first ever post so sorry if it’s like not put on here right) So my birthday was yesterday and I invited my brother and his fiancé over. They were an hour late and I usually wouldn’t be mad about that but I walked to meet them and was waiting in the cold for at least 30 minutes ( it was 10 degrees Fahrenheit). I haven’t been excited for my birthday in at least 5 years but I was excited for this one. We’ll call my brother Kevin and his fiancé Emma. So I pick them up and they are ignoring me the whole time and talking over me until we get to my house. They are rude and disrespectful the whole time they were there.
They only came for food and to smoke with my parents. (I don’t smoke weed but they all do) I was trying to convince Kevin to stay the night because my little brother was here and missed him. He refused and I also was asking them to borrow they’re vape until the went back home because they were in town over the weekend they also refused on that. Kevin was talking to my parents while me and Emma where talking in my room. She said that she hopes nothing happens or escalates. (Kevin doesn’t like our stepdad) I told her that the only way that would happen would be if Kevin does something because our stepdad has enough respect to be civil especially on my birthday. (our stepdad doesn’t have an issue with kevin). She didn’t like that I said that but she shouldn’t have brought it up in the first place they were trying to pick a fight the whole night.
After cake Kevin asked for some of my brownies, I told him when they came that no one could have any because it was the only present my parents could afford to get me. I would have been fine with no presents but they insisted on getting me my favorite snack. Kevin kept pushing for the brownies and I said he could have some if he stayed the night for our little brother and if he let me keep they’re vape for two days. (They had two with them and neither were burnt and the people they were staying with also had vapes). he agreed and let me keep it with me when he left.
It’s a vuse he put a new pod in it before he left because the pod that was in it was empty. It’s been one day and the pod is half empty now I do feel bad for draining it on them but the were very disrespectful to me that night and a few months ago when I had vapes and the didnt they drained all of mine and our friends vape. She was very upset that every time they would hang out with us Kevin and Emma would drain what we have even when they did have their own. And days that we said we didn’t have anything they leave five minutes after which started to make us think they were only around to use us.
I told that same friend about it and she said that it was wrong that I done that and said that it was an asshole move. Like I said I do feel bad for but at the same time I feel like they kind of deserve it and they have another one and more pods. So aitah for draining my brothers vape?
**Little bit of an update**
so they’re coming over in a little bit to pick it back up they don’t know that it’s half gone but i guess we’ll see what happens (and for context i didn’t nessicarily drain it on purpose I checked it this morning and realized it was gone the main thing that I think is shitty on my part is that I felt bad but didn’t really care because where they have done it to me so many times. I do realize now that it doesn’t make it right but I guess I’ll see how pissed they are when they get here. I think another reason I didn’t care is because after how they acting was kind of just a breaking point for me and I don’t plan to cut off all contact with them but definitely limit it from here on out because I’m just not okay with how the treat people and I’ve lost respect for them recently over a lot more stuff they’re doing. But yeah I realize now that what I’ve done was an asshole move and when they pick it up I’ll apologize but I’m not going to try to make anything right with them after today because I think I’m just better off keeping my distance from them. Everytime I’m around them I just end up being in a horrible mood the next day and mentally drained. But I do agree what I did was wrong.
Okay so I showed Emma and apologized and she said it was okay and she didn’t really care since they have more idk how my brother is goin to react though. I forgot to mention that she wanted to give me a pod for my birthday and he didn’t.
ESH and TL/DR.
I don’t think you’re necessarily an AH since they let you borrow it, but really two wrongs don’t make a right. Draining their vape isn’t going to fix anything about your birthday or help any future birthdays be better.
ESH- he let you borrow the vape not have the entire pod, but he has got to expect it to be not full when he gets it back because obviously you borrowed it to use it lol. They’re assholes for ignoring you on your birthday, for pressuring you for a brownie, and for picking fights. You did let him have the brownie in exchange for the vape though so it’s kind of hard to say he’s an asshole for eating it. Realizing you’ve used quite a bit if not more than what’s acceptable to share when borrowing a vape the right thing to do would be not to use any more of it until it’s returned. Just based on how they treat you through it doesn’t really seem worth it to stress out over how they’ll feel about it.
ESH – this whole family just seems to like drama or conflict.
How did you pick them up if you walked to meet them? But really who cares about any of this? For the record NTA. It’s a damn vape. Don’t apologize. But your brother treats ppl like trash. I’d put as much distance between you and him as possible. It sounds like a lot of drama for no real reason. Except he’s a ass. Seriously just stop expecting anything from him. You will be better off.
NTA for now but leaning towards ESH. You havent technically used all his vape yet so thats cool. I don’t think its too big a deal to drain the pod if you know your brother, but the part that makes me think youre the asshole is that you know it would bother him and you want to do it anyway almost as a way of getting back at him. Thats where you could be the asshole. Two wrongs dont make a right.
ESH
There’s a lot of toxic behavior within your family. Give your brother money to replace what you used. Be the person he should be.
By the way, they’re means they are. Their means it belongs to them. There refers to a location.
YTA. Nobody is going to read all that without a paragraph. Nobody is going to read that much about a vape.
ESH – I didn’t see anything that wasn’t asshole behaviour from anyone in this story
ESH, but mostly them.
They were late, rude, ignored you, and treated your birthday like a pit stop for food and smoking. That sucks, full stop. Pushing for your brownies after you said no is also not great.
That said, keeping the vape and running the pod halfway down was petty. Even if they have more, you knew it would cause drama and you did it anyway. It is understandable, but still petty.
Bigger picture, this is not about a vape. It is about feeling used and ignored. Stop bargaining affection with stuff. Set limits, and if they keep showing up only when they want something, stop inviting them.