For a bit of context, my bf (23M) and I (23F) have been together long distance 2 years, in total 4 years together. Every year his work has this big holiday party at the CEOs house which to him is a big deal (rightfully so), where he gets to bring a plus one, which last year I went and he wants me to come again. This past year however, I’ve been having some abnormal stomach issues and finally have to have a colonoscopy procedure for the day after this holiday party, something that I found out the date for later than scheduling the procedure. When I told him I had this going on and I wouldn’t be able to go, he asked if I could reschedule to colonoscopy? AITA for not wanting to? I feel bad he would have to go to his party alone but I don’t want to keep pushing this off either. TIA!
NTA. Your health should take priority in YOUR life, as well as his if this is a serious relationship. This is a PARTY, for Pete’s sake. He isn’t the one for you if he doesn’t get that.
NTA. You don’t know how serious your medical problems which be. But uncovering them, no matter how trivial or serious they might be, is the purpose of this diagnostic procedure. Don’t delay having it done.
Ask him how he’d feel if you had something seriously wrong and postponing the colonoscopy allowed it to get measurably worse.
NTA – Your health comes before him impressing his boss. If you do reschedule how much longer, how much more of a toll on your health is it going to take? You deserve better.
NTA – It takes months to get an appointment for a colonoscopy!! Does it suck? Yes, it does, but if you’re having issues, it’s not something to put off. Your bf needs to put his big boy pants on and understand that your health comes first.
Your health is of course your priority. The timing is awful, as are the optics. Then again, Who among us wouldn’t rather have a colonoscopy than go to a partner’s work party?
Are you kidding me? You’re having health problems and he suggested rescheduling? What an AH! Don’t feel guilty. Take care of yourself first!
His CEO is probably old enough to have gone through a colonoscopy or two themself and will completely understand you not wanting to be at the party the night before.
Most gastroenterologists book procedures weeks or months in advance. Since this isn’t just a routine 5 year or 10 year re-check, it is not worth the risk to wait that long for a reschedule — there’s a reason your doctor ordered the procedure.
NTA. Your bf must not realize that a GI is a specialist, and a lot of insurance companies require referrals before you can see one. Also, colonoscopy is something anyone under a certain age (I think 40) needs to meet criteria for if insurance companies are going to pay (I.e. significant family history or medical need). As with any other procedures, they are usually appointments that get scheduled for you. I’m hoping his request was made due to ignorance, and not because he doesn’t think it’s important.
The timing sucks, I guess, but it is what it is, unless you want to wait x amount of time for a new appointment (possibly months).
A colonoscopy isn’t like moving a haircut. The prep alone kills your whole day. Him asking is understandable, but you saying no is completely reasonable
i’m gonna interject here by saying no, him asking is not understandable. any adult in (what i assume OP is located in) the US knows how scheduling medical appointments are a nightmare. i’d even go as far as saying him asking her to prioritize a holiday party over her own heath is selfish and rude of him…
NTA no party is worth skipping a colonoscopy. Health first
NTA. Doctors appointments obviously take priority over an xmas party.
Think about this carefully: your bf is placing a party over your health in importance. A party he can attend alone but just doesn’t want to. A party where you would be an accessory, not a necessity.
This is not someone you want to be planning a future with.
NTA
Go and get checked out.
Just be blunt. Tell him, “If I have colon cancer, I need to know it as soon as possible.”