Okay so my (19f) little sister (16f) confronted me via text about underwear that went missing from her drawer. Those were actually mine, and I found them when my parents asked me to look in her room for some of my mother’s missing belongings (all of which I found in her room as well) she got upset that I was in her room, and I explained that I was told to do so.
I will also mention that I was borrowing my best friend’s iPad (17f) at the time to make digital art. When I wasn’t using it, my friend was kind enough to let my little sister play Roblox, on the condition that she wasn’t to look through any other apps.
After my sister and I’s confrontation, she sent me an incriminating photo of my friend, saying something along the lines of ‘it would be a shame if this got leaked’. I was in shock, why did she have the photo? Then I remembered the iPad. She’d snooped through both my friend and I’s text messages as well as her camera roll. I don’t know why she’s doing this. She’s quite popular at her small school too.
My friend wants no harm, but I am extremely disappointed and angered at my sister. She’s the prima-donna type sister, she gets what she wants, etc. I try my best to be kind to her despite that, buying her favorite snacks and helping her get ready for school in the morning now that I’m on break from college. I’ve been nothing but reliable to her and my family, and while my parent have been on vacation I’ve been doing all the housework and farm chores on my own. I haven’t complained once, but now that my parents were told of the situation by my sister, they’re upset at me. Because I’m taking my friend’s side. The friend that has always had my back unlike my little sister. I feel like the intrusion of privacy and break of trust was uncalled for and I feel awful that even though I do favors and tasks for my family at the drop of a hat, this is the result of the situation. Even my big sister doesn’t think it’s a big deal. This photo could ruin my best friend’s reputation and sports career. My parents claimed my sister wasn’t going to do anything with it, but she still has the photo. As far as I know she could’ve shared it already. Need some advice.
EDIT: Please don’t slander my parents in the comments!!! They are amazing and want the best for all of us. They don’t spoil my little sister, my sister just happens to ACT like a spoiled teenager. They love my friend, but their daughter comes first and she happened to get to them before I did. They’re still on vacation, but they’re gonna call both of us tomorrow separately to talk about this. They agree it was wrong of her, but aren’t worried she’ll do anything. Personally I don’t trust that, but we’ll just have to wait and see. Just, please don’t drag my parents down, they’re great parents and I love them, they just don’t understand my perspective yet. 🫶🏻
NTA, this is all on your sister. What does she hope to accomplish by blackmailing your friend? Covering up her repeated theft of her family’s underwear and other stuff? She sounds awful.
Friend here: she has absolutely nothing to accomplish by blackmailing me. I have been nothing but nice to her for the three years I’ve been friends with OP. At the end of the day she wants attention and she wants to start drama because her own life is boring
I love my sister but BOY is she a pain in the ass. She doesn’t really have my respect anymore, but I know she can be a decent person. I just wish she’d clean up her act. She likes to make me angry because she knows I’m sensitive and get upset easily. Normally I wouldn’t let my teen sister upset her adult sister (me) but I won’t let her slander my best and only friend.
NTA. Your sister is, though your parents are a part of the problem, too. They are enabling sis to act like a spoiled brat.
NTA
Ask your parents to consider if it was your or your sister’s photo that was going to be leaked. I imagine they’d be singing a different tune if their was *their* child who was the one being blackmailed.
Unfortunately unless you can ensure the photos are deleted completely and permanently, the damage is likely already done. A valuable lesson for all: don’t take pictures you would be upset to have “leaked” – because this is the type of stuff that happens.
Also…this is all over a pair of *underwear*? Seriously?
NTA.
You don’t say what this photo is but the implications you raise are quite clear. If I were your friend I would contact the police in your area and tell them that someone is threatening them with blackmail. If that picture is of a sexual nature then the police will have to act and your sister will get into trouble. Fairly bad legal trouble that will have consequences for her and her future. You could explain that to your parents and your sister and make her delete the picture in front of you (and then check her phone to make sure she didn’t make copies or send it to other people). Explain that either that happens or police get involved and then watch their attitudes change.
I will say that none of them will like it. But releasing intimate photos of someone without their permission is a fairly serious crime these days.
The photo was actually of my best friend hitting two vapes at the same time haha. And I love my parents dearly, they’re awesome and hard working. It’s my sister who’s the issue. She’s very manipulative. It sounds like my parents will be talking to both of us.
I’d report her. And then I’d move out swiftly and break contact with all three of them.
NTA, what are your parents doing raising such a spoiled child? You don’t have the fault at all here, i get that she’s a teenager, but blackmailing is completely out of line, and worse of all your parents are not taking this with the level of seriousness it needs, if she keeps getting away with all her bullshit she is going to continue to be a spoiled teen, and worse a spoiled adult later.
Friend here: the photo was of me hitting two vapes at the same time haha (I have since quit). I’m more pissed off that she looked through my iPad after I asked her not to. OP’s parents also said I have a “big mouth” and they don’t want me starting things at school. One: I’m couldn’t say anything about the situation without incriminating myself and having everyone find out I smoke so that’s out of the question. Two: I love my best friend dearly, and at the end of the day, as pissed as I am at sister, she’s still my best friend’s sister and I don’t want to come between the two of them. Although this whole situation is starting to make me wonder what else sister might have saved from my camera roll. Also, OP’s parents are genuinely such nice people and they have always been like second parents to me. Saying this, sister is also their daughter, so I understand that they immediately jumped to her side after only hearing the very biased version of the story from her. Will update later, dw
Can confirm, this is my best friend. Please don’t hate on my parents!! They are amazing and do not spoil her as much as it seems. This all happened a few hours ago, they will be talking to both my sister and I tomorrow and I’ll give them my side 🙂
NTA tell your parents to start acting like parents or else your little sister WILL wear the pants in your family and as she grows older she will start blackmailing you all if she doesn’t get what she wants.
NTA but your parents and sister are. They are putting your friend’s future in the hands of a spoiled ungrateful child who obviously hasn’t been disciplined by your parents.
NTA. Your sister broke trust on multiple fronts and it sounds like she’s trying to weaponize her mistake. It’s about time she learns actions have consequences, and I think you should stand your ground. Remember: Privacy is crucial, and leaks can lead to serious harm.