i’m turning 21 soon and found out my mom applied for and got approved for a credit card in my name. my initial reaction was “oh! um.. okay?” i told her i recently applied to one and she was disappointed that i did that because she already did it for me. she basically said i ruined her “surprise.”
the next day, i told her to not do it again. she got really upset and blew up on me. immediately started yelling, calling me ungrateful, disrespectful and said how she’s not the “enemy.” she had said how all her friends and even her boyfriend said it was a good gift too. i tried to defend myself, saying how that’s not a good gift and she told me to shut up. it’s been a long week tbh. she never apologizes and i can’t talk about my feelings without her being either dismissive or full on victim blaming and yelling.
i really want to move out but currently don’t have the funds. just wanted to know if im the asshole for reacting this way to a “birthday gift?”
NTA in what world is opening a credit card under your name for you a gift to you? That isn’t a gift at all. Your reaction is totally valid
It’s called credit card fraud and your mom can go to jail. Make sure that YOU call the card company and get it cancelled!!
NTA! Make sure she didn’t make herself an authorized user on your account and have the account canceled!
NTA that’s literally a crime and also what the fuck kind of gift is that?! “Here’s some debt, happy birthday sweetheart!”
Pull your credit reports and lock down your credit ASAP. You didn’t ruin a surprise gift, you outed that she’s stolen your credit. NTA
NTA
Her applying for a credit card in your name is FRAUD.
I would highly recommend that you create a username and password for all of the credit bureaus and FREEZE YOUR CREDIT EVERYWHERE. Put on an additional fraud alert for good measure.
Fraudulent credit cards are not a gift.
Debt is not a gift.
Guilt is not a gift.
NTA. That’s not a birthday gift, that’s identity theft.
Freeze your credit at all credit reporting agencies so she can’t “give” you this “gift” again. Also, maybe cancel that card – she may have spending access to it.
Cancel the card your mom set up IMMEDIATELY! She could have added herself as a secondary on the account, giving herself access to see what you’ve bought and even to use a second card that you’d be liable for paying/ruining your credit. What she did is illegal as well.
My uncle’s ex gf set up a card in her son’s name, ran up $50k in debt and ended up in jail over it. (His dad pressed charges when he found out.)
FREEZE YOUR CREDIT!! Please lock down your credit with all three bureaus. Locking it is free. You will be asked to create a password so make sure you have a paper and pen to write it down, but do not let your mother have access to it. It
This is a personal violation for your mother to do this. NTA
NTA. What she did was illegal and WTF how is that a “gift” anyway??? She didn’t buy uou anything – she just used your personal information without your consent.
*edit* Contact the credit card company & explain the situation. If you want to keep the card ask for a new one to be issued with a different card # and ensure your mom does not have access to any of it.
NTA – what she did was identity fraud and is a felony
NTA – Here is guidance on [how to freeze your credit.](https://www.usa.gov/credit-freeze) And close out the card. This isn’t a gift, it’s interference and her trying to control your finances.
Also, make sure to have a bank account in your name without her having access to it. You’re an adult, you need to take control of these things.
NTA.
Run, do not walk, to Transunion, Experian, and Equifax websites and freeze your credit with all three. Or subscribe to a paid solution like Lifelock if you can afford it, which makes the process a bit easier.
While there, pull your free credit report from one of them and see how many cards she has opened and what the balance is on any of them. **If there are more accounts than she said or a balance on any of them, file a police report.**
If she has access to any of your bank accounts, open new accounts that she does not have access to (you may need to unfreeze your credit to do this or do it before freezing) and move all your money.
Write her an email (yes, I know it may be weird to email your mom, but do it anyway so you have a written record) outlining what you discovered, reiterating that you never gave her permission to open any accounts in your name, and instructing her to hand over all cards and account information for the accounts she opened so you can contact the banks/card issuers and explain they were opened without your permission and figure out how you can close them. If there is an outstanding balance on any accounts, demand immediate payment or, if she has no money, set up a payment plan. Tell her you will file a civil lawsuit against her if she does not comply.