Edit I think some people are confused. We kayak to the first campsite, sleep, kayak to the next sleep and kayak to the final spot and head home .
I am an outdoors person, and before the weather gets too cold I do a camping trip. We kayak down the the river make camp on the bank. It is a lot of fun and is a two night trip.
I have done this with all of my kids and have started to invite their spouses, some show up and some don’t. (Not everyone likes camping). The river we kayak on can get a fast and choppy in places. I have a strict no kids under 10 rules and that they have to good swimmers.
This bring me to my sons wife (Jane- fake name) Jane can not swim at all. She never learned as a child and she still hasn’t learned as an adult. The most I have ever seen her do is go into the shallow end in a pool.
My son wanted to invite Jane and I told him no, that this is safety concern becuase she can not swim. Jane was very upset about it and told me it would be fine. I told her no again and if she learns how to swim she can come next year
Jane is upset and my son is also upset. He has told me he can’t go if she isn’t invite and I stuck to my decision. He is also no happy with me either
NTA. Why does she have a death wish? People can be dumb. The same people who will have their eyes burnt during an eclipse.
NTA. Being able to swim is a good rule to have when you are surrounded by water. A death would definitely ruin the camping trip so she can start learning for next year.
NTA. Have him show her & watch with her some videos of say the Gauley River (up to class 5s & maybe 6 depending on the rain or when they open the dam. Then they may understand a bit more of the safety risks. Our guide was pitched from the raft & I think it was only a class 1 area, but those sneaky rocks can launch ANYONE at ANYTIME. [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CbZAQRuw38M](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CbZAQRuw38M) edited to add link.
NTA at all. I had a lovely young coworker who grew up outdoorsy, great swimmer. Her kayak flipped and she drowned. Safety will ALWAYS come first.
NTA. You might try “sorry son, but I like your wife and don’t want to be responsible for her death.”
Followed up with the question of “son, why do you want your wife’s life in danger, have you taken out a large insurance policy on her?”
NTA
I’ve done the same thing with backpacking, which is even less dangerous. Don’t want to do safety checks even though you’re an absolute newbie? Ok, you’re not going.
If they aren’t going to respect safety expectations pre-trip, why would you think they’d listen to any limitations during the trip?
NTA
I understand him bowing out if his wife isn’t going, but this is a matter of basic safety. Why is he willing to risk his wife’s life?
Insurance. Do you even WATCH Dateline? 🙂
NTA. She isn’t equipped to go one this trip and there is also nothing wrong with your son’s decision to stay behind. You’d think as her husband he’d be more concerned with her safety.
NTA. I kayak every year and am a decent swimmer. No way would I do fast and choppy in a kayak, even with a life vest, especially if I couldn’t swim AT ALL.
“told me it would be fine.”
She can’t guarantee that. And if it’s NOT FINE, it goes south 0-100 real fast.
If she cant swim she cant go. Its a safety issue, period!
NTA. I’ve known people who have died in kayaking/rafting accidents. Not being able to swim is incredibly unsafe, no matter what other safety devices you’re using (PFDs, etc).
Them not thinking this is a big deal does not raise any confidence in their decision making
NTA. I am a paddle craft safety certified boy scout leader. Have been kayaking most of my life. I have taken kids on kayak trips. You have 2 huge dangers in there.
A) dil can’t swim. Not even a little.
B) dil doesn’t know how to kayak.
Rivers are dangerous even for us with experience.
I myself have gotten in dangerous positions over the years. And have been in control of 14+ people on a river. Have taken my kids on rivers. I know rescues and can read rivers.
I unfortunately have seen some dangerous shit and have witnessed people almost die. ( Not my groups) Have seen broken legs, head injuries ECT.
I over estimated my son’s experience once and that could have been a lot worse than it was, but I was able to handle the situation. Which then ended in me paddling my kayak with out a paddle in class 3 waters for 4 miles. Nothing scares the bajesus out of a mom then realizing their child is pinned against a rock. In a strong ass current. And he was 5’7 and a 14 year old male. Or when I had a 3 year old riding on my kayak and my 8 year old got hung up on a tree, I tried to pull him off and flipped. Holding a little and trying to get us all to safety and grab the boats. ( The other adults were fu…..g off and ended up in a huge fight because they left me with 5 kids under 12. )
Water is DANGEROUS.
I have taken my kids out since they were littles.
Always a 1:1 with anyone under 8 and 2 to 1 over that. Until they are 12.
I learned to swim in a river. I am strong and fast. And I can read the the rivers. It’s best she learn to kayak on a lake. Learn to swim. Then she can go