For context, I am 19 and I’m living with my fiance and I’m currently not working. My fiance has a good job and is allowing me to focus on school. Before this incident happened I went over to my bff’s house to hangout while she was home from college. Her and her mom are very judgemental and I’ve gotten into fights with my bff about my life choices. While I was over her mom started asking me questions about my life and I told her about me focusing on school and she seemed very judgemental in her tone and responses but I didn’t say anything to her about it in the moment because I know my bff had already told her everything I was telling her. For additional context, her mom is very overbearing and has to have her hands on everything. She has also been best friends with my mom since I was little. She often calls herself my second mom but it’s purely one sided. A few days ago I got a notification that I had been tagged in a Facebook comment section so I looked at it. The post was announcing that a coffee shop was hiring and for people in the area to apply. I was weirded out but this but I didn’t say anything to her about it and went to my friend and said "your mom just commented my name under a job listing on Facebook" after which my friend got mad and told me she was just trying to help and all she does is care about me. I told her that it was overstepping, kinda rude, and the job wasn’t even in my area. My bff completely lost it after that and she told me that I am being ridiculous and what her mom did was completely reasonable. I didn’t say anything mean it was just how I felt about the situation which I wasn’t even going to say anything other then it was weird until she got mad. But anyway she hasn’t responded and I don’t know if I need to apologize or just let her be.
No, don’t apologise. You’ve told her that you are focusing on school. Is there an option to prevent tagging in comments via Facebook? I’ve definitely stopped people posting on my timeline without my ability to review and release. NTA
You’re NTA but just change your settings so you can’t be tagged in a post without your approval.
Oh, and block that judgmental, annoying, self described second mom.
This. It’s your responsibility to lock down your FB settings. They make it difficult – you have to go through multiple menus and do each option separately – but it is possible.
And NTA
NTA I wouldn’t classify your reaction being related to being “tagged on Facebook”, but on your BFF’s mom’s passive aggressive judgmental post about getting a job after you’ve just said you’re focusing on school.
You definitely don’t owe anyone an apology. Stop chasing after this ‘friend”, who isn’t much of a friend imo since she’s obviously been gossiping to her mom behind your back. Be careful what you share in future!
Nta. I would honestly distance myself from them both. Sounds like a toxic relationship, & like it’s gonna take a toll on your mental sooner or later..
Do you actually like your BFF? Why are you spending time with either of these people? NTA though. It’s smart to focus on school as much as you can. Just make sure you have a plan in case things with your fiancé don’t work out. Regardless even if you were making terrible choices it would be none of her business unless you asked for help.
thats a little long for me to read..just adjust your Facebook settings. I am pretty sure you can turn off the ability to be tagged. Also you can unfriend people
You’re 19, not a 40 year old. Nothing that you are doing is bad if you’re in a position to focus on school do it. The mom is very strange. I wouldn’t ever do that even on a job board. I would link it to a private chat if I thought it applied for anyone. Your BFF and her mother are talking behind your back. Why she feels you should not study I can’t understand.
Bruh, I get why your bff’s mom thought she was “helping” but tagging you in a random job post you didn’t ask for is kinda weird and intrusive. You’re allowed to feel awkward about it without apologizing.
They sound jealous, TBH.
NTA
Sorry to tell you this, but your bff isn’t your bff.
NTA.
I wouldn’t even do that to my own children. If a job looks suitable, I will share it privately. After the share it is up to them to ignore or act on it.