F(15) here and to give a little bit of context I do not have a great relationship with my uncle’s wife. She is the type of mother to not agree that her little son is at fault for breaking something that does not belong to him or holds meaning. Like how my nephew broke and dirtied the first gift my mother bought me out of her first paycheck.
I was devastated once I saw it all broken and complained to my grandparents but they saw no issue because "I wasn’t using it anyways" when in reality I wasn’t using it to not dirty it and keep it in perfect condition!! (BTW the gift was a cute little cup that held pencils and had cute designs and had my name and my mother’s name on it.)
After that I told my mother to call my uncle’s wife and tell her to pay for it since her son broke it.
She replied "my son didn’t break anything and [] wasn’t even using it"
So after that I just decided not to speak with my uncle’s wife ever again and not to attend any events that they made for example: (birthdays, family gatherings, family dinners) and if they were ever present at my house I’d lock myself in my room until they left.
My grandparents would scold me and try to force me into attending my nephew’s birthday WHICH WAS ALSO ON MY BIRTHDAY and I KNEW they would get a cake especially for him and celebrate HIM even though I’m the elder one. But they favor him anyways.
(My nephew and I have the same birthday because we were born on the same month and same day.)
When also before my nephew was born no one remembered my birthday as it was nothing special but now that he’s here they’re all excited to attend his birthday and bring him gifts when no one even bothered to gift me anything.
I’m being called selfish and ignorant because i " Blame" my 2 year old nephew for breaking my cup but in reality I have the problem with his mother not him.
NTA. Sharing a birthday does not mean your feelings stop mattering, especially when favoritism is obvious
Your extended family kind of sucks. Parents are responsible for things their toddlers break, whether you were “using it” or not. Is your aunt the “golden child” of your grandparents’ family by any chance? That’s the only thing that explains this weird behavior.
NTA
NTA, and thanks for clarifying what having the same birthday means
Sorry I was afraid that no one would understand what I meant because I didn’t know how to phrase English words right!
Don’t worry, we understand 😁
I know that made lol.😝
Easy NTA, these people went into OP’s room without permission to take the cup and give it to a child to play with.
INFO:
Why does your aunt feel her son didn’t break it?
How did your nephew end up with your cup?
What did your mother do about the broken cup? I’m seeing a lot of you going to your grandparents, you going to your aunt – where is your mother in all this?
NTA
You can celebrate your birthday however you’d like.
BTW – he’s your cousin, not your nephew. Your uncle and his wife’s son would not be a nephew. Your sibling’s child would be a nephew.
(I’m not pointing that out to be an AH. In case English isn’t your first language, I thought knowing the nuance might be helpful.)
“I am not required to spend my birthday with ignorant jerks who destroy things and don’t make amends. Actually I don’t have to spend MY birthday with anyone if I don’t want to. Enjoy your day with \[cousin\], it’s not like you ever cared about my birthday anyway.”
NTA
NTA – considering your age you seem pretty level-headed about everything. I guarantee if you broke something of theirs and refused to apologise or replace it you’d be the AH. Just because you’re not an adult doesn’t mean you shouldn’t stick to your principles.
I also think it’s wildly inappropriate for them to go into your room and rifle through your things because they clearly are crappy enough parents they didn’t bring something for their child to play with. Or they did and they’re just messing with your stuff out of spite? I don’t see what versions doesn’t make the aunt and uncle not AHs.
Instead of screaming and shouting you’re removing yourself from the situation – very mature.
NTA. Technically, if he’s your uncle’s kid, I think that makes him your cousin, not your nephew, right? Either way, NTA. I’d even be saying that if you didn’t have the same birthday. Not only is it the same day, but you’re 15 years old. You’re still a kid. You get to have fun birthdays and hang out with your friends all day and, y’know, be a kid. Your family is being unreasonable.
Your nephew/cousin/the 2 year old won’t even remember, anyway. Who cares?
I was going to say YTA until I saw your age. My nephew and I share a birthday but 32 years apart lol so it’s never an issue for me to celebrate him but at 15 you deserve your own day
so your cousin, not nephew but either way NTA… Your Uncle needs to be a man and step in, also Auntie Dearest is creating a monster if she lets her son do anything he wants and he can do no wrong.