My (18f) mother is really scared of rats. We have separate bedrooms right next to each other. Till i was 13 we slept in the same bed in my room but after my dad died she took his room. Now sometimes she keeps asking ‘when will we sleep in the same bed together’ she is a bit lonely ig and does say I am her support, which brings us to now.
There were 3 rats in our house,2 have been dealt with (rather violently). The third one appeared in my moms bedroom for a second and she got spooked.last tike this happened we switched rooms for the night. Again she asked me to sleep in the same room as her, I asked what me sleeping in the same room would do to for the rat problem. I kid you not she said something along the lines of ‘we will be together atlest’ ‘we are the same flesh’ ‘sometimes I do not understand what our relationship has come to’, I am translating these phrases FYI. I just laughed in her face but now I am feeling a bit guilty. Is it Normal for parents tl be this clingy? Am I the asshole for refusing?
NTA. You are allowed to have boundaries, especially as an adult, even if your parents is scared.
NTA
It’s *your choice* and you are not obligated.
In fact, it is enormously unhealthy and unfair that your mom is using you as “her support.” Distancing yourself and creating boundaries is perfectly reasonable behavior.
Nta, the rat thing is a bit odd but she is an adult she should be able to handle it. You’re also 18 and should have a right to your own space. When your younger is not a big deal you want the closeness but as you age that space especially a bedroom and bed are your vulnerable areas, your safe space. She should respect that for you.
NTA. Your mom needs counseling or a support group. It’s not fair for her to put all her loneliness on your shoulders.
NTA…If you feel uncomfortable with it, then that’s the end of the conversation.
NAH. Co-sleeping, I think its called, varies culturally.
But hey, “we will be together at least” is a fair fair point when facing rats!
NTA but i do find it interesting that for the majority of your childhood, she slept in your room and your bed then she moved out on her own. You can sympathize with her but she needs a support group if she is lonely. And you need to call an exterminator for the rats (actual rats or just mice?!)
Your mom coslept with you until you were 13…. and your dad had his own room? NAH for the rat, I wouldnt like to be alone at night if a scary animal is around… and you are entitled to not wanting to share a bed with anyone.
However… no, it is not normal for parents to be this clingy.
You slept in the same bed as your mom until you were 13? Guys, that’s weird.
This is so culturally dependent.
NTA as you should only sleep with people you want to sleep with. But I have to ask…….she slept in your bed with you while your dad was alive? Why didn’t they sleep in the same room? That alone is a mystery and odd.
Nta some moms are definitely this clingy and worse. Stay strong she needs to learn you’re allowed to have boundaries. It will take awhile and be stressful while she adjusts
NTA, sounds like your mom needs support and is using you for more support than you as her child should be. Your mom needs a support group or therapy, and you are welcome to your boundaries.
I want to add though, it sounds like there may be a cultural difference here that I may not be part of and so do not understand (you said you translated so I’m assuming your mom speaks a different language than English) so I’m not gonna call her an asshole as what seems weird to me (sharing a room with my child if I have the space to give them their privacy) may be different in your culture
This is not healthy, buy your mom a giant teddy bear to sleep with.