Me (F22) and my fiancé (24) just got engaged, it was perfect and everything i’ve wanted. We celebrated then when we settled down we decided to call my brother to show him the ring, i wasn’t aware that he was with my mom. so he and my other brothers start screaming with excitement and she grabs the phone to see what was going on and she saw my ring. she silently gave the phone back to my brother, she was quiet since.
2 days later she calls my phone and starts screaming saying “i’m a peace of shit as a daughter”, and many hurtful things about my fiancé. i understand that she is my “mother” and she’s supposed to know these things first, but she was awful to me growing up so i cut her off as soon as i had the chance. AITA?
NTA. She sounds like a narc. Congrats!
Girl NTA. She just showed you why you were right to cut her off. This is wild behavior.
lol .. she doesn’t sounds like a good mother anyway! Good riddance
NTA. You had a reaction. Your mom went way overboard.
NTA. I told my brother first when I found out I was pregnant and my mother last. Just because she birthed you doesn’t entiltle her to being the first to know of your milestones. Congrats!
NTA but you buried the lede. If you cut her off then she shouldn’t expect to be called first or notified at all. Don’t feel guilty, sounds like you cut her off for good reasons.
NTA, but beware, she’s going to make your wedding about her. You definitely want to keep strong boundaries up and make sure you have passwords for all your vendors.
She sounds like she’s not going to be your best support. Keep your wedding gown out of her reach. Even if you’ve cut her off, she’s going to push it, make a scene and involve relatives.
NTA. Being your mother doesn’t entitle her to be the first to know things, especially since she is cut off from being a bad mom to begin with. That is something that she obviously doesn’t regret, what with the screaming and name calling she is doing now.
NTA she sounds unhinged. You’ve already cut her off for good reason it sounds like and now she’s about to make your wedding about herself.
I could understand being disappointed she wasn’t the first call – IF you two had a good relationship – but that’s not something you say out loud and you definitely don’t ruin someone else’s news by making it about yourself.
I would advise making sure you keep your vendor names to yourself and set passwords with them to be safe, since you don’t know what your brothers might reveal (even if unintentionally)
NTA based on her reaction no wonder you didn’t call her, I’d go low contact with her she sounds awful.
NTA. Congrats by the way. 🥰
NTA. And do not invite her to the wedding. Your day will be ruined.
i mean that right there just shows why you didn’t call her first at the beginning. she seems like an emotionally explosive person, i understand wanting to wait and breathe before telling her, even if it was subconscious.
your engagement, so you decide who knows and when
NTA. If you cut her off before cause she was awful when you were young, now she just showed to you that it was the right decision. Keep her away and celebrate with your loved ones. Block her and move on with your life (you don’t need those kind of toxic people near you or your loved ones)