I (23F) moved into this house about two years ago when my roommate B (27F) lived here with her ex, and my brother (27M) also lived here. Over time, roommates changed, but B stayed. Her name is currently the only one on the lease, which she has used as a power play multiple times, often saying “my name is on the lease, I have final say.” We later found out the landlord actually wanted everyone’s name on the lease, but she never told us.
This matters because B has always decided how rent is split. She has the largest and most private room in the basement with a bathroom that’s mostly hers. In the past, she enforced the rule that more people in a room means higher rent. When my brother’s girlfriend moved in with him, she raised his rent by $400 because there were two people in the room.
Recently we had a roommate meeting to formally meet her boyfriend, who we already knew. During that meeting, she said he’d be moving into her room, splitting her rent and paying utilities, while the rest of the house’s rent stayed the same. This immediately felt inconsistent. We’re already tight on parking, we’re a house full of women used to being comfortable in shared spaces, and this directly contradicted how rent had been handled before.
I didn’t bring it up in front of her boyfriend because I didn’t think that was fair. After the meeting, I checked with the other roommates and they agreed it was inconsistent, so I spoke to B privately. She had a breakdown, accused me of always having an issue with rent, told me my rent was already good and that I should be happy, and said if I didn’t like it I could leave.
During this, she revealed she planned to kick out another roommate in March and that she and her boyfriend would take on that rent. This was the first time anyone had heard that. I explained that without that context, it looked like her boyfriend moving in only benefited her. I thought we ended the conversation okay.
Later I texted apologizing for making her cry, since that wasn’t my intention. She left me on read. The next day, I told her another roommate and I planned to get our names on the lease because we didn’t trust her. That night, her boyfriend gathered everyone and said rent concerns were brought up behind his back and that B was so upset she cried for hours and missed work.
I spoke to him privately and explained the full context. He agreed my concerns were valid and that her reaction was an overreaction, but said we should work around her sensitivities. I dropped the issue because it wasn’t worth it, especially since they might not even kick out the other roommate.
B hasn’t spoken to me since. I didn’t insult her, I didn’t confront her boyfriend publicly, and I raised a real inconsistency privately. AITA?
NTA B cried to manipulate you. I’d move out with the good roommate. B can split the rent with her boyfriend however she wants.
NTA she was scamming you and is upset she was caught
NTA. Get your names on the lease and split the rent properly so B doesn’t keep pretending she’s your landlord.
You and the other roommates should one up her and all leave. She can deal with the rent on her own and y’all can get your own place.
NTA but she is manipulative.
“Sensitive” is a way to make others tread lightly and back down.
NTA. You all should move out. You’re not in the lease anyways and no longer obligated. She’s scamming all of you.
Crying doesn’t change anything. You’re talking business, money, housing, equality, and she’s upset she got caught out.
Let the tears flow! Let her crumple to the floor. It’s doesn’t mean anything when the rest of you are adults. But getting your names on the lease and taking away any of her “power” is the right move.
NTA
NTA. The petty side of me would go to the LL and find out exactly how much the rent is, just to find out how much B is scamming you and the others out of money. Knowing that, I’d then let the LL know how much of a thief B is while arranging a new place. Maybe it’s another apartment in the same building that the rest of you move into. Maybe it’s not sticking together, but the end result is everyone else moving out.
The reason for looping the LL in regarding the rent is so that LL can get control of the space back from B and prevent her from picking the new tenants she shares with.
Regardless of if the rest of you stick together on a new lease or split up to different places, insist on all tenants being on the lease. I say this because B has proven what can happen if you’re not on the lease: she’s able to unilaterally kick someone out for whatever reason strikes her fancy (in this case, to purportedly give her bf the room) since she is the only one on the lease. That’s something that really should ultimately be in the hands of the LL.