I (F19) was minding my business doing my hair in the bathroom for work tomorrow so that I wouldn’t have to wake up super early in the morning to do it (i have a hard time taking care of my hair since its very coily and I was never taught how). My dad (M48) suddenly asked me if i knew \*the lady he is currently seeing’s name\* and I responded with "yes what about her?". He proceeded to tell me how he will be staying at hers Monday and Tuesday as well as Friday through Sunday, I responded with okay since I know that they are seeing each other but I don’t really wanna be in my dads business, especially his dating life. He looked at me and said "aren’t you going to ask me anything?" Which I responded to, "ask you about what?" I couldn’t tell if he was annoyed because I was minding my business doing my hair and wanted to be done ASAP because I was tired. He then told me "Aren’t you going to ask about her? Why I’m staying there?" Which I responded to with no because, like I said I don’t necessarily want to know about his dating life. He then asked me if I cared about who he’s seeing which i then shrugged my shoulders to and he responded with "Okay, that’s nice of you" with a kind of sarcastic tone of voice which made me realise that I might have said something wrong. Maybe I am a total asshole and should apologise but Idk.
(For context my dad has been with three different women before which of two he married and he has 1-2 kids with each one of them. The only reason we are in contact now is because I desperately reached out to him when I was 11-12 years old. Also I live with him now because I tried to move out of my moms house in silence but they didn’t like that and thats when they decided I should live with my dad in another city. Which I believe is way worse than living alone because I’m cleaning and doing laundry for a grown man who knows how to take care of himself but chooses not too just because he knows I’ll clean it up since I strongly dislike living in dirt)
NTA. You’re an adult, he’s an adult. It would be different if you were 4 and this woman was potentially going to be raising you but at 19 she’s just the woman your dad is dating.
Cool. So you have housing, and a roommate that only shows up 2 times a week. NTA.
NTA There is no impetus for you to inquire about this woman. Even if they were getting married tomorrow, the kind of relationship you might have would be very different from a parental one, and it’s up to you how much you invest. It sounds like your father wants you take care of him emotionally as well as clean up after him, and you don’t have to.
NTA, you’re just living your life. he’s hurt bc he feels like you don’t care about his life i think.
also if you care about your dad, maybe ask him questions unrelated to his dating life just to show interest. you can start small with how was your day and branch off into how work is going, his hobbies if he has any, etc. showing interest in him would probably make him very happy as a dad.
He’s a big boy and can decide for himself who he dates. But with his track record, it won’t last long and he’s looking for validation and approval from you. My mom is the same way, she’s dating her ‘dream’ man but will dump him soon, married four times (so far) and none of us kids that I know of really care who she dates… NTA.
NTA Your dad should tell you something about his dating life only when he meet somebody important that will be part of your family. Before that, I’d be just like you and don’t wanna hear about it. At all.
Yup NTA and sounds like new girlfriend gets to look after him 5 of the 7 days now.
I would advise taking steps to be self sufficient and live on your own now, he sounds like the kind of person who will want clean slate when he decides to start his next family.
I’m sorry your parents are such a disappointment.
NTA That’s so weird, that he thinks you should ask about why he’s staying there. Even if you had a really close relationship, there’s a difference between bonding and oversharing.
NTA, but you might want to pay a little more attention here because if he moves in with her or she moves in with you it’s going to affect your life. Fortunately, at 19, you are able to move out on your own if need be, but you don’t want to be caught off guard.
He clearly has something on his mind. Might be a good idea to ask what it is and be in control of your situation.
He’s mad because you don’t care about his score card / body count ?
Time to move out, 19 is a perfect age. Rent a room, get a group to rent a house, etc. You sound mature, smart, and ready. Your dad may grow up, but you’re responsible for you.
If you’re 19 now, your parents have no say about where you live.
You are 100% NTA. If your dad wants you to know about his relationship, he should tell you, not force you to ask and then get angry when you don’t.
If his relationship is getting serious/ more committed, then IMO he should plan some quality time with you to tell you what’s going on and get your opinion. Not trying to talk to you while you are busy.
At your age, as you suggest, his relationships are his business not yours. Unless his plans impact directly on you, for example if he is going to move out of the house or move in her in.
I encourage you to be the adult here, as he clearly isn’t. Plan some quality time with him and talk to him about how you feel about his relationships and why they aren’t your business. Really to keep the peace and try to understand why he believes it’s important for you to know about them.
Good luck!
Tell him you’ll try to be interested in the next one. NTA