My husband and I are going on a trip to Florida in late May, with our friends(their a married couple as well) and my SIL. My husband and I do have two kids (8&4) but we have decided not to bring them since our friends are not bringing their children, plus of their school schedule. We also would like to drink and have fun with adult only activities.
My MIL and I were discussing the trip when I had mentioned to her if she’d be okay with our kids staying with her. She said yes but told me it was really strange to leave kids behind, and how they would probably enjoy it. I said how we could take another trip when their a bit older. She then had said how we were meant to do these kind of child free vacations after our kids are grown up and it’s sad that the kids have to miss out; we’re being selfish. My husband and her got into an argument. I ended up arranging with my mother to watch the kids, because I don’t like her attitude, but now she’s mad at us and SIL agreed and said she wouldn’t be going on this trip if she has kids. AITA
Add: My children have had short family trip. Over summer we typically stay away from home a few times.
NTA. This is a parenting choice. We always took our kids with us on trips, but many parents don’t. A few days at Grandma’s is a wonderful treat for kids, and your youngest is old enough to understand and to cross off the days on a calendar if they’re missing you.
And it’s also good that OP decided to change to her own mother watching the kids instead of the criticizing MIL one.
It’d be likely that she would criticize The parents when they’re gone or giving very emotionally loaded comments to the kids.
Like- Oh I know you’re just so bored and unhappy aren’t you? Now that your parents are going having fun on this fantastic trip without you? (Meanwhile the kids are perfectly fine not even thinking anything was wrong or having a problem But now are going to repeat it to the parents when they get back)
NTA it’s fine for parents to do things without their children from time to time. Being a parent should just be part of a parent’s identity, not all that they are.
NTA. You are allowed to have time without your children, vacations or not.
NTA. Parents deserve to have a life and identity outside of being parents. Im sure your children would enjoy the trip but there will also be other trips. If the kids are upset I would just plan something for their summer break they can look forward to and put a countdown on their wall for.
NTA – and this vacation will probably be very good for your marriage.
Your MIL did not want to watch the kids so instead of just telling you “no”, she chose to be passive aggressive and guilt trip you into making other plans – other than her as the babysitter and it worked.
You weren’t asking your MIL and SIL to approve your life choices. They can make their own that are different. Period.
Taking a vacation without kids is great for your marriage
NTA, every parent deserves a break, period.
Every kid deserves a break too! A week with the grandparents sounds awesome!
Question – is this a short, child-free break or is it the only holiday you are taking this year?
You absolutely deserve time with your partner as adults but, if this is your main holiday this year, then it would be odd not to take your kids.
NTA
Parents are people too, and a child-free vacation is a great way to have a healthy marriage.
Sounds like your MIL had no help with her kids growing up, so never got to have “adult” fun until hers were old enough to be left alone or were out of the home. And she’s projecting her jealousy by implying you’re selfish parents. NTA – go have a blast! If it’s orlando, go to Epcot and drink around the world – repeatedly!