I’m really upset about this and would really want some opinions from someone else.
So for some context, when I went to hs I had started a new school bc of a program I wanted and had this new friend group with 4 other girls there. Let’s call them A, B, C, D, ranked from how close me and them are personally (closest, talk most to A and so on). They already knew each other from elementary school, so I was lowkey an outsider. They were nice to me though and included me in school, but I have seen them have a group chat and been hanging out outside of school without me (I do get invited a few times). Which wasn’t bothering me that much since I had a depressive episode through hs and didn’t really had the energy to hang out after school + I still talk to some of my friends that go to another school.
Fast forward, 4 years later. I had moved out of town for college and some of them have too. I don’t really talk much to them anymore because of the distance, only birthday messages and ask them sometimes about life and how they’re doing. A few months ago when I was in my hometown to visit my parents, I stumbled upon a girl that went to our class, and she mentioned friend A (the one I talk to most/closest) being engaged because A had told her this and it came as a shock to me since I hadn’t heard a word from A about this. This friend was surprised as well that I didn’t know because her and A wasn’t that close, or at least me and A were closer. Some time later I stumbled upon A, and asked her how everything’s going and she didn’t even mentioned it, only when I tried asking her about her love life and she just casually mentioned «Oh yeah, I’m engaged » like she was talking about the weather, and I had to pretend to me shocked. She didn’t really tell me much about her fiancé or when the wedding is either when I asked which was fine since it’s not my business and I didn’t wanna push her to tell if she didn’t wanted to.
Now today I just found out friend A got married, via instagram story, wasn’t really expecting to be invited after the incident when she hid her engagement. Friend A posted pictures on her story followed by the rest of them reposting or posting their own pictures saying congrats. This is was also on her close friends story and not the public one, so obviously she wanted me to know but didn’t wanna tell me about it?
She’s not your friend. Don’t feel bad about not congratulating an acquaintance on their engagement/wedding.
Focus on finding friends that are kind.
When we leave school, our lives change, and we are no longer close to those who we did go to school with. After 4 years of little contact, she may have felt it wasn’t as important to tell you. And I feel your pain, sadness.
You will find this will happen again in future but not feel as upset about it.