Work politics are wild, man. I said no to giving a coworker a ride because he smokes like a chimney and I didn’t want my car to smell for days.
Now apparently I am the unfriendly guy.
Funny how one tiny boundary can turn into a whole office narrative you never asked for.
NTA, fair for you to say no for any reason but you can’t control what other people say about it
Oh well…1 ride turns into endless begging…don’t even open the door
INFO
Did you decline him for being a smoker (even if he didn’t smoke inside your car) or just didn’t allow him to smoke in your car if he wanted to come with you?
Smokers smell regardless of if they’re actively smoking. You take a 15 min break every hour bathing in cigarette smoke and actually believe you don’t smell like an ash tray all the time? Yeah not getting in my car either.
NTA OP
NTA and ugh! We had a coworker that always needed rides – never offered gas money of course. Dropping her off one morning her husband tried to get in my car because she told him I would drive him to work! I told him no and that was the absolute last time I have anyone a ride. She sure did tell everyone I was a jerk but you know what? I was a jerk that didn’t have to take anyone home besides me. Just ignore him
Her husband? Wtf? The audacity.
Next time someone says something about you being unfriendly for not giving a ride, tell them they can do it instead if they think it’s such a nice thing to do. Make sure the smoking co worker is within earshot to make it harder for those hypocrites to say no.
NTA. Btw did you mention your reason for declining or did you just say no?
NTA. You dont have to give people a ride at all. and can say no for any reason. you have a reason, but could just say, NO.
NTA. Smokers stink. Even when they are between cigarettes. I wouldn’t let a smoker in my car either
NTA – 1 ride becomes several. Then you’re a taxi service without payment.
I have read this before, recently. Did you abbreviate your original post?
Not necessarily the AH. I guess it depends on how you told him. I wouldn’t have brought up the smoking thing at all, just that I couldn’t do it. I’d have made up an errand or appointment that took me out of the way.
Smoking is a tough thing. People who smoke think they don’t smell or that other people can’t tell, but that’s usually not the case– it’s hard for them when they’re confronted with how unpleasant it is for nonsmokers to be around it. Smokers also often have a complicated relationship with that vice: some want to quit and feel like it’s a weakness to be unable to do so, others are blamed for the health consequences of smoking (without taking into account how difficult it is to stop). All this to say that your coworker may have been reacting to those feelings that they have about the habit, not just you bringing it up. So, even if we give you the benefit of the doubt that you said things in the kindest possible way, he was probably going to take issue with it. Again, I’d have steered clear of the smoking thing and not given much explanations about why I couldn’t offer a ride.