So I’m M20, still living w my mom (F46). Not by choice rlly, shit’s expensive. Anyways my gf came over and baked cookies for \*me\*. Like she made a whole batch, put them in tubs and everything.
I already gave one whole tub to my cousins cause my mom asked and I was like yeah whatever that’s fine. No big deal. BUT then later my mom tried to take ANOTHER tub to give to them. I said no cause those were the ones I was saving. My gf literally made them for ME and I already shared once.
My mom instantly got mad and started saying I’m stingy and that it makes her “look bad” if she shows up w nothing. I told her she already brought cookies so idk why she needs more. She kept pushing saying “it’s just cookies” and “why are you being so selfish.”
That’s when I snapped ngl. I told her she’s always acting like anything in the house automatically belongs to her and she never respects my boundries. I said if it’s “just cookies” then it shouldn’t be a big deal to not give them away either.
She got super offended, said I was disrespectful and ungrateful, and now she’s barely talking to me. Apparently my cousins think I’m being dramatic over cookies which is annoying cause THEY ALREADY GOT SOME. I dont think I’m wrong cause I already shared and they werent even hers to give away in the first place. But now everyone’s acting like I’m the bad guy over baked goods 😐
So yeah AITA or nah?
NTA! The cookies were a gift and a treat for you. Made by a loved one for you. You were generous to give some away the first time. The silent treatment you’re receiving from your mother shows her emotional immaturity. You’re fine. Sleep well. Enjoy your cookies. They were made with that extra special ingredient that makes them the best- love.
NTA those were made for you plus you shared them! If she needs more she can go to the store to get more.
NTA they arent just cookies. They are homemade ones given to you as a gift. Your mom doesnt own whats gifted to YOU .
You are a tenant and you have tenants rights
rent or no rent she agreed to give you living space therefore you have rights and she cant take your things and give them out
Where do they say they pay rent, utilities, or anything else? No rent, not a tenant, that’s the bare minimum without a lease. Month to month tenants with no lease still pay rent. OP doesn’t make that clear enough.
I’m so glad I never had children if this is the level of entitlement kids have these days. No, he does not have tenant rights.
Did your GF procure/provide the ingredients required to make the cookies? Or were they created from ingredients already in the house?
NTA.
If I went to the effort to make you cookies and you gave most of them away, I’d be pissed.
Info needed
First, who paid for the ingredients that the cookies were made from. They’re not solely your cookies if they were made with your parents’ stuff.
Second, how many tubs were there? Only two? Yeah, that’s a bit much to take more. Mom isn’t being fair even if she paid for the ingredients. Three or more and, yeah, you are being stingy if you’re not sharing. Cookies go bad too.
Three, I hope you also do nice things for your gf. That’s a lot of work.
To be fair, if I were your girlfriend I would have given your mom a bunch of cookies as a “thank you” for letting me use her kitchen. I’ve never gone over to someone else’s house to bake. I’m going ESH.
He or the girlfriend probably purchased the ingredients. As he lives there shes not just using “Someone else’s house” she is baking at her boyfriend’s house. That doesn’t automatically mean she has to thank the mother with even more labor. The mom isn’t even eating them, shes giving them away
What exactly makes it her boyfriend’s house? Does he pay towards the mortgage and utilities? Is there a lease? My guess is no, he’s just a kid that hasn’t moved out of his mom’s house yet.
When your gf makes you cookies, keep them in your room, and just say “No” when you are asked to give them to someone else. Your mother’s behavior is weird and it’s unclear why she is so invested in making sure your cousins have cookies…do they not have parents to provide them with cookies? NTA Your gf could make the cookies at HER place, then bring them to your place for you without letting anyone know, making sure no one sees them. That might help curb the cookie-envy that your mother/cousins seems to suffer from.
Feels like there’s some context missing. Doesn’t sound like this is in the US.
Did you get to eat some of the cookies? Are you overweight? Are your cousins living with you too? Does your girlfriend come by or bake often?
This feels so weird to me because food is one thing that my family was never stingy on, even when we were poor. Especially for children. If they were hungry, they were always fed. To be honest, I would’ve been happy to give my kid cousins cookies while bragging about my gf, as long as I got to eat some too.