Me, f(20) and my ex-boyfriend, m(20) broke up in March 2025. My ex and I were very close, borderline living together at his apartment with his four cats and raising them together.
After dumping him, he decided he wanted to move to Louisiana to pursue an undergrad degree, meaning he had to find new homes for all four cats because he couldn’t have them live in the dorm. His plan was to send all four cats to live with his aunt in Seattle, but with a lot of pleading, he finally allowed me to keep one of the cats with me at my college house.
He adopted this cat off of the side of the road and never took her to a vet appointment. After I took the cat, I took her to her first vet appointment to which there were a plethora of expensive problems, including an inconclusive result to a feline leukemia test. This enraged me, considering that if the cat had feline leukemia, she had also exposed the three younger cats that had been adopted from a shelter.
Thankfully, with more extensive testing my cat came back negative for feline leukemia. I say this to emphasize that I payed for everything and I never asked him for any help. He was fully in the loop on the cat’s medical issues and didn’t offer any sort of financial assistance. This is understandable since the cat is now in my home and I’m responsible for her.
I also registered the cat with the city so she is legally mine and since I took her to her first vet appointment, my name is on all vet records. After this, I consider the cat to be mine alone since I’m the one who stepped up full-time, paying for all food, vet expenses, and other responsibilities that come with being a pet owner.
A few weeks ago, he asked me to see the cat in person to which I happily obliged since I’m not trying to keep her from him. At this meeting, he hard-launched the idea of taking the cat back with him to college once he moves out of the dorms. I firmly said no, reminding him that this cat is now mine and I had taken all responsibility for her. He reacted angrily, saying that this was unfair, cruel, and that I am withholding his cat from him. I argued that I have taken full responsibility and legal ownership of the cat. I also mentioned that he’s barely checked up on her since he’s been gone AND was irresponsible by never taking her to the vet and leaving me with that financial burden.
Since then, he’s been nonstop texting me asking when he can see the cat again. He even asked me if he could watch the cat while I was gone for Christmas break, to which I said no, telling him that I already worked out a safe boarding situation for her. He replied angrily again, saying that boarding is cruel and that she deserves to stay with him in a safe home with his parents. This made me nervous that he was attempting to take back the cat under the guise of “watching her over break”.
He will not leave me alone and this has me questioning if I’m the A-hole for being so stubborn about this situation. Am I?
Definitely NTA! But be careful, he might try to steal your cat … I don’t think you should let him see her anymore, and tell the boarding that no one other than you can pick up the cat. At best he will give up, at worst he can try to break into your house or lure someone else to give him your cat!