19M, me and my ex split months back and i am trying to get myself back to a respectable place and move on.
Today, my ex has messaged me up basically saying stuff has happened in her life and she is upset and ‘wants to talk to someone she knows’ I basically said we split up ages ago. I don’t have any obligation to her for anything. I said she could talk to her friends (which she does have) and family about her issues. Not me
The mess up was extremely messy, I was treated very bad in the relationship and felt relief cutting loose from it all.
Am i being an asshole for saying that I don’t have to make time to sit and talk to her or any obligation to her after things. I personally don’t think my feelings are unjustified
NTA . She didn’t want support from u she wanted her old emotional punching bag back. You left for a reason. She doesn’t get to treat you like trash and then expect you to be her therapist on demand every time her life gets chaotic.
This, right here, is gospel!
I gave her 3 years of my life and she chewed me up and spat me out in pieces, metaphorically speaking, I promised myself that i would have the pride in myself to not ever let her get that version of me again
NTA. Not your monkey anymore, not your problem.
Block her and put her in the rear view mirror of life permanently. You owe her nothing.
I get this, I just didnt know if i went about doing it the right way was mostly it
NTA. You’ve moved on, and it looks like this was a great decision.
it sounds like you’re just trying to keep your peace. if you don’t wanna talk to someone, then u don’t have to! it doesn’t matter if she’s going through a hard time. you don’t owe her anything and it’s not your fault.
NTA
thank you
NTA. You owe her nothing
NTA. You broke up 6 months ago. The advantage to her being an old ex- is that you have no further obligations to her. You have the luxury and the right to just plain not care about what’s happening in her life. You don’t even have to reply to her messages.
Enjoy the freedom. Not only are you NTA for not getting re-involved with her, you’re also following what appears to be the smartest alternative under these circumstances.
thank you so much this helps
NTA. You are under no obligation to help her, especially since she mistreated you.
ETA: as someone who went through something similar- you are making the right choice here.
NTA. Not your problem