Am I the asshole for not hearing her out? Essentially I’ve been talking to this girl for about two months and we’ve gotten into a situation and I don’t know what believe. It started with her coming to me saying she heard things and me and me talking to people the same time as her and being accused of being a player which neither is true. I explained and was irritated by this because her friends were lying, she said she had believed me and she was sorry. I then hear from someone about how she moves on from guys really quickly and that she’s treated people she’s talked to badly after a month of talking and that she’s also been spilling what we talked about with friends and that they’ve judged me. I don’t know how to feel, she’s told me it’s false that she hasn’t talked to anyone since June and she’s not gone to friends for advice she opened up about how bad her last relationship and that she knows not to treat people badly, i genuinely don’t want problems with anyone I don’t know who to believe she keeps trying to explain and wanting me to believe her, I don’t want to be the joke I don’t want to cause problems with anyone I don’t know what to say to her anymore so aita for not really wanting to hear her out?
So she believed you and apologized but when the same thing happens the other way round you won’t believe her and won’t apologize? YTA
NTA
But, you are a hypocrite and it’s strange you don’t see that.
So, just to be clear, she hears negative stuff about you from her friends, doesn’t know what to believe and, because her friends were “lying” this “irritates” you. But, she apologizes and believes you.
THEN…you hear negative stuff about her “from someone” and she says it’s “false”. But you decline to apologize for listening to gossip and “don’t know who to believe”.
Perhaps you really weren’t two-timing her and her friends were lying and perhaps “someone” wasn’t lying and she does treat people she’s talking to badly. Perhaps. I don’t know the truth of the situation either way. But, it’s certainly convenient that you are offended to be gossiped about and demand she believe you (and apologize), but you don’t owe at all the same to her. Convenient to you. Hence, hypocrite. You. The whole treat others as you’d want to be treated is maybe something you should think about….
Even your explanation of that rambling post makes me exhausted and I can make no additional sense of it!
Basically, OP is a raging hypocrite who expects this girl to trust him that her friends are lying when they say bad things about him, but isn’t willing give her the benefit of the doubt when he hears negative things about her.
Ahhh. To be 15 again. No thanks.
For saying NTA, you seem to be describing a YTA post.
No idea what your ages are, but you haven’t really provided any info about what you have done to be an A H. If something seems like too much trouble, it usually is. You aren’t obliged to stick with a relationship that isn’t working out for any reason.
What “I’ve done” to be is not hear her out and believe what’s someone’s told me about her while her denying it
I’d at least hear her out, she’s the one you’re potentially engaging in a relationship with, not her friends, although her friends would then become a part of your life too. But also, sometimes it just ain’t worth the headache.
Well; I can see not wanting to be played. However; she did come to you also not wanting to be played. She heard you out did she not? Probably would of been best to set boundaries and if they were crossed then you weren’t gonna stick around. The way you just up and left without giving her a chance to explain or show you that what their saying isn’t true there are such things as jealous friends who intentionally break ppl up. But maybe you weren’t actually that interested in her since you bounced.
This is clearly teen angsty stuff. My advice is to walk away from all the drama. Do not engage with anything or anyone drama related and certainly don’t become the drama. You can’t control what people talk about or what others will believe so its best to stay away from the “he said, she said” crew.