I (27F) and my girlfriend (28F) are going to my aunt’s vacation house in Italy next summer. We invited three of our closest childhood friends (all girls). Two of the girls separately asked if they could bring their boyfriends. We thought about it and ultimately decided it was best to say no to both of them–we aren’t close to either of the boyfriends and don’t want the third friend to be the only un-coupled one (she does have a bf but was excited for this to be a girls trip). Truthfully, the vibes would just be different with these 2 men included and not as fun for us. Also, each of the friends doesn’t want the other person’s partner there, only their own. One of our friends was upset when we told her. She said that she couldn’t imagine me and my gf ever taking an international vacation separately (it’s true, we haven’t), and thought it was especially unfair because they are currently long distance. We assured her that we do want to get to know her bf better but stood our ground about this trip. I’m worried it’s a little hypocritical of me because my gf is on the trip, but these are equally both our friends and also it’s my aunt’s house. AITA?
>Also, each of the friends doesn’t want the other person’s partner there, only their own.
Yeah, that’s selfish. And tone-deaf. “MY boyfriend should be able to come, but I don’t want YOUR boyfriend coming!”
your friend is being super entitled by trying to compare her boyfriend of however long to your actual partner who is literally the co-host of the trip. It is your family’s vacation home so you get to set the guest list and “no boyfriends” is a totally normal rule for a lifelong friend group getaway
NTA. I agree with the above response, especially given that it’s a lifelong *all female* friend group. The fact that two members of the group are in a couple relationship doesn’t change the fact that all of the group members are women, and guys being on the trip as well would definitely change the dynamic.
No NTA…you are a female couple, that is the difference. You wanted an all girls vacation and that is more than OK. Wanting to add people to an original list does not mean you have to. Males will bring different vibes and you know this, that is why you are a female couple.
NTA. 3 of you seem to want a girls trip which is perfectly fine. The other 2 both want to bring their own boyfriends, but not let each other bring theirs. Which is just weird and seems like it’d cause conflict no matter what and just having neither of them is the best solution.
Plus, it’s your aunt’s vacation house, you get to make the rules.
It’s your aunt’s house and, thus, your invitation. You can ask whomever you want. NTA
NTA.
Your aunt’s house: your rules.
They can rent an airbnb and come with their BF if they truly want to go then.
NTA. It’s your trip and you’re offering free accommodations to friends if they join. Totally reasonable to have those restrictions if that’s your preference. Everyone is coupled up though and you’re at the age now where invites generally extend to significant others. Maybe give that a chance next time.
Why you feeling bad that your partner is with? This is your and your partners holiday, they lucky you guys even invited them on this trip. You guys could have easily gone on your own and share pics with your friends. If they want their partners with they can have their own separate holiday and respectfully decline your offer..
If it was a girls’ trip organised by and for friends, with no partners, you’d be the AH if you assumed that *your* partner could go because she’s female.
As it’s a trip that you and your partner are going on, to which you’ve invited some friends who are girls, NTA.
By the way, partners ‘change the vibe’ just as much as people of the opposite sex do.