I (18f) have been friends with this guy Jake (fake name,18) for 14 years, Jake has always been invited to every party iv had, hangouts and anything like that. Long story short I dated a girl a few years ago and it was the worst relationship of my life she was controlling and toxic and put me in therapy for years, Jake obviously knew about everything she did to me and a few months ago I found out that last year while me and her hated eachother he would say he hated her and he would never speak to her to me but messaging her trying to “get in her pants”. I was disgusted and so disappointed he could betray me like this and felt so backstabbed. It took me ages to talk to him about it but when I did he acted like he didn’t know, yet he still hid it from me and he did know. I was disappointed and hurt and I rarely speak to him now, mostly since he started dating this girl who I hate and he knew I hated because she was a horrible girlfriend to one of my other close friends.
This year I decided to throw a big party including a lot of people, being my biggest birthday party ever, I invited all of my friends but him and i think that’s annoyed him, he’s generally a talkative guy in our groupchat but every since my friend mentioned the party he has been ignoring everyone in that group, I kind of feel a little bad because he has been my best friend for years, but I’m still hurt with the backstabbing he did to me and I know for a fact if I invite him he will bring his girlfriend aswell which I do not want, even if I tell him no. So aita?
If he’s dating, or hooking up with, every female that has wronged your friend group, either you’re from a very small town or he doesn’t understand the word “friend”. Either way, NTA.
Nta. I was very ready to say asshole but at the end pf the day if you opened up the opportunity for reconciliation and he still didn’t take it openly and honestly you did all you could,,,,
He may have been your best friend but he’s not no.he
He betrayed your trust and didn’t apologize so the friendship is over. You are a decent person and that’s why you feel bad about the situation. But you can’t let him back into your life let alone come to your party.
Stop trying to control who he dates and sees. Just because you dislike someone does not mean someone else must. you are young, but almost old enough to realize that it unnecessary to be so dramatic.
Oh hell nah thats not ur best friend drop him like yesterdays press girl. Nta
NTA. You’ve set your boundaries and that’s good. That friend of yours doesn’t care about you and he keeps crossing the line because he hasn’t faced any consequences for his actions up until now. Don’t overthink it. Friendships come and go, now you know how to be a bit more selective when it comes to your friendships. Friends who genuinely care about you are sincere, gracious, communicative, and honest.
NTA you are allowed to not want someone you aren’t speaking to at your party. But you shouldn’t feel like you can tell him who he can and can’t date just because yall are friends. You can not like her and insist he not bring her and if he does that’s crossing a boundary. But he doesn’t owe you extra consideration in who he dates.
Could he say he hates a guy and cut you off for dating said guy?
I18 year olds doing 18 year old things. NTA, but I at that age I remember friends doing shitty things like messing with exes and whatnot. However you handle this you’re not wrong. If you continue to keep him at a distance, that’s fine, but if you want to have him back in your life I would tell him how trying to make a pass at your toxic ex made you feel.
NTA something I wish I’d learned earlier was that just because you’ve been friends with someone for a very long time does not mean you need to stay friends with them or stay friends at that same depth. You both have grown and developed as humans and he is being an ass. So it makes sense to distance yourself from him. He clearly knows what the problems are and instead of changing, apologizing, or even just addressing the situation (!) he is giving you the silent treatment – shows he doesn’t care or doesn’t want to change. So good time to move on and let him go silent and fade out of the gc and your life.
Stop feeling guilty and move on, have your party without him and let him and the past go.
NTA
Both of you are TAH.
Psssst…he was never your best friend. NTA and have a helluva good party!
NTA
Y’all too young and not grown enough to be having these types of problems.