(Customary: Throwaway + English is not my first language)
I (33f) have a son (6) with my ex (35m). We split up over two years ago. We didn’t end our relationship on good terms and we only communicate about child-related things. I don’t know much about his personal life outside of basic info- he’s dating a woman I only met once. She has three kids I’ve never met. I only know their names thanks to my child’s stories and a single birthday card they’d signed for my child. I don’t even know their exact ages, all I know is that they’re in primary school, but are older than my kid (so they’re between 7-11y/o). I am more than happy with this arrangement too. That’s why I am very confused by their request to have two of the stepsiblings over for a sleepover.
Background- my child just had his room renovated and evidently bragged about his Minecraft room. He’s already had his cousin (my ex’s nephew) for a sleepover too, so it’s clear that we don’t mind the general idea of sleepovers.
When my ex mentioned this idea of me hosting his step kids, I immediately shot it down. I am only comfortable hosting our nephew (I know him and his parents very well). I don’t even consider letting my child’s closest friends stay overnight just yet. Why would I let strangers sleep in my house? I don’t know their mother, I don’t know them. I don’t feel comfortable taking responsibility for those kids.
My ex argued that I know him (safe to say- that argument made me even less inclined to cave LOL) and that the kids are now siblings so it’s good for them to have those experiences together. I responded saying that they already have the experience of sleeping under the same roof when my kid is with his dad.
My ex called me cruel for causing a division between the siblings since the steps are not even allowed to experience sleeping in the Minecraft room (I am not too sure what that even means- it’s just a room). I told my ex that I’m happy to share some tips and tricks if he decides to turn one of his own rooms into a Minecraft room to give the kids the experience of sleeping in one.
Just to add- my son knows my opinion on sleepovers. Once I told him *no*, he didn’t push this idea any further. He is happy to see his stepsiblings when he’s at his dad’s.
AITA?
NTA they want free babysitting so they can have a kid free night. Do not budget or they’ll make it a regular thing.
NTA. Your ex is just looking for a free babysitter for his new family
This is the only answer. Also, he’s not married to the woman so they aren’t his step kids.
Exactly, or it’s a setup to say there’s some kind of abuse going on in that house.
People are gross.
Yeah he’s thinking he’s going to have a happy family with all the kids together so they can stay at her house and they get a break. He’s jealous she gets a weekend without the kids
*”My ex called me cruel for causing a division between the siblings since the steps are not even allowed to experience sleeping in the Minecraft room.”*
Oh no, OP is going to end up traumatizing these children by denying them a sleepover in this mythical Minecraft room!
It’s your house, and you get to decide who stays there. Full stop. Since your son is fine with it, clear NTA.
NTA. He invited his girlfriend’s kids to your house?? Nah. You don’t know them, you don’t know her, and honestly who knows if she will even be around forever since they’re not even engaged or anything. I think you handled this perfectly and I’m glad your son is happy and understands the word no.
NTA
Tell your ex he’s full of crap. He just wants somewhere to dump the stepkids guilt-free for him and this is a convenient option.
NTA Your ex probably wanted some free babysitting! The room is the excuse.
“ I responded saying that they already have the experience of sleeping under the same roof when my kid is with his dad.”
“ I told my ex that I’m happy to share some tips and tricks”
NTA. Your comebacks were fantastic!
NTA. I’m not a fan of sleepovers either, but it’s especially a hard pass with children and parents I’m unfamiliar with.
I’m not sure why, at this point, he thinks it’s a good idea for you to take on children you dont know, especially when you and their mother have never met. Perhaps he’s thinking you would be a great babysitter for their date nights?
Nope. I agree with you. This is not something I would even consider at this juncture.
NTA, sounds like he’s trying to get his foot in the door for bigger favours.
It’ll start off as a sleepover, then it’s, “can you just take the kids for an hour”, ” can you have the kids for the day so we can get a break” etc
NTA. Your ex and his gf want a date night with a free babysitter
It sounds like your ex wants a child free night he doesn’t have to pay for.
NTA