I (20F) bought my first car at 17 after working for years to save up for it. I took care of that car meticulously until one day my sister (21F) wanted to borrow it. Both my parents insisted that I had to lend it to her just for the day. She ended up crashing it, and I had to get a new car. I was currently unemployed and focusing on my studies, so my parents ended up paying for the replacement. They got me a new Lexus, and I was overjoyed.
However, I think my dad liked the car a bit more than I did, because he started taking it out when he traveled out of state, making me use his crappy pickup truck, which I genuinely hate. One day when he came back, I noticed a crack in the windshield. I was absolutely sure I didn’t do that, and since I don’t like anyone else touching my car, I knew it was him. I didn’t want to start a fight with him, so I never brought it up. My dad isn’t the best driver and I know that much and so I was just hoping he would get over the phase of taking my car and go back to using his own.
Today, though, my dad said, "Hand over your keys I’m going out of state." I didn’t really know what to say, so I told him that I had an appointment this week and needed my car. He simply told me to use his truck. I told him I didn’t like it, at which point he started getting upset, saying I didn’t "complain when I used it all the time for school when I didn’t have a car." I tried to gently let him down, explaining that there was no reason to take my car if his was perfectly fine for him. I also brought up how he had taken all my gas and didn’t bother to fill it up, and mentioned the cracked windshield. At that point, I was tired and left without handing over my keys. He took his car and left for his trip.
My mother soon approached me, saying I was a jerk and how I could be so heartless since he was my father and he paid for the car, which was even under his name. I responded that the only reason they paid was because they forced me to give my car up to my sister, who then ruined it. Now both my parents won’t talk to me, and my sister also said I should apologize. But they won’t even answer my calls, so I don’t even want to bother at this point. Am I the asshole for this?
NTA. They’re punishing you bc your sister is the golden child and you’re not taking their crap anymore. Frankly atp, save up for a car for yourself (it doesn’t have to be brand new, just one you like driving) and drop the lexus off at your dad’s since it’s in his name. After that just stop talking to all of them, your Sister included if she continues to push the issue.
NTA but start trying to plan on buying your own car again. Especially because its still in his name, ive seen posts on here where people use that to report it stolen.
Youre not wrong, but youll lose either way. Either the car, and youll hate them, or them. Its unfortunate that they chose this hill, and your sister to die on.
NTA
They insisted you allow your sister to drive the car YOU paid for and she crashed it. They made you whole by replacing it, but now want to hold it over your head that they paid for it? Make it make sense.
The Lexus is titled in the father’s name. They’re lending it to the daughter. They never made her whole.
NTA But, if it’s titled to your father, it’s not really your car. You should probably either have them transfer the title to you or save to buy a car you can title in your name.
They should have bought you a car like the one your sister wrecked. He bought you a nice car because he always intended to use it. Had it been a car to replace what was lost, it would be really easy to say No.
First of all what happened to the insurance money for the car your sister crashed? Second, is your dad paying for insurance for the Lexus, including both of you as drivers? I mean if your dad paid for the Lexus and is paying insurance, I can see how it’s still his car even thought that’s terrible gifting. If he took and/or taking your hard earned money then that’s not right at all.
You’re NTA, but your parents are definitely AH material. Live and learn. Your dad didn’t buy you a replacement car. He bought himself a secondary vehicle under the disguise of getting you a new car. You didn’t create the situation of where vehicles are an issue in your home. Your parents did that by themselves. Your sister could have taken an Uber, bus, or used one of your parents’ vehicles. Instead, they pressured you into handing over your keys and making you out to be the villain when you’re really the victim.
NTA. But it doesn’t matter much, because you seem to be a bit stuck.
Here’s the deal. You got screwed over when your parents “replaced” your car with a car that is not titled in your name.
You are just now finding out that you got screwed.
I am not saying improvement is impossible here. I just wanted to mention that that point *in the past* is significant.
INFO: What was the value of the car your sister totaled? What was the value of the Lexus when it was purchased as the loaner (fake replacement)?
My old car was bout 7k after expenses and the Lexus Idk since my dad doesnt want me to know but it’s a 2019
Definitely a lot more than 7k.
And he definitely got the car with himself driving it in mind, wild decision making
What happened to the insurance money?
Also if it’s still in his name he didn’t buy you a car at all.
He really did not buy you a car, if he did it would be in your name. He bought himself a car and is letting you use it. There are always strings attached. You need to get your own car as soon as you can.
NTA