So this is kinda awkward and I feel bad even typing it but I need outside opinions
I 23F live alone in a small 1BHK that I worked really hard to afford nothing fancy but its mine and I like my space
My friend Riya 24F and I have known each other since school we used to be really close but last year we had a big falling out basically when I was going through a rough patch lost my job for a bit was really stressed she just wasnt there like at all she stopped replying properly cancelled plans and later I found out she was telling ppl I was too negative to be around
We never had a big fight about it but things were never the same after that…
Fast forward to now she called me out of nowhere last week saying her landlord suddenly asked her to vacate and she needs a place for just a month or two she said she doesnt have anyone else nearby and that Im her closest friend here.
And honestly I felt torn Because on one hand I do remember all the years we were good friends and its not like she did something huge like steal from me or anything but at the same time when I was struggling she kinda disappeared and even talked behind my back.
I told her Im not comfortable having someone stay with me right now I said I need my personal space and my routine etc
She got really quiet and just said okay I understand but later one of our mutual friends texted me saying I was being cold and holding onto old stuff when someone clearly needs help.
Now Im wondering if Im being petty like should I have just helped and moved on.
AITA
nta. you don’t have room to be hosting *anyone* for a month, you especially don’t have the space to host someone when there’s a rift.
NTA. It’s your space and you’re under no obligation to share it. Tell the friends who are calling you to give up their space if they care so much
Nta. Seems like you don’t really have the physical space for someone to stay for “a month or two”, even if it was someone who’s respectful & you feel comfy around. Sharing your home is kinda a big choice and it’s one that’s all about what you need/can do imo. You could always offer to help in a way you can/want to afford, but do what you do it’s your home
NTA even if you wanted to help, I don’t know how on earth this would work. This sounds like Karma is doing its thing. I’m petty but I’d absolutely say “I’m so sorry but I’ve worked so hard to get to this positive place and card afford any negativity around. Hope you sort something out like I did!”
NTA for not wanting to sacrifice your space and privacy for such a fair weather friend. Y t a for having no punctuation of any kind until paragraph three.
Hey, just sorta big picture thing: its a terrible thing she’s doing, talking about you behind your back. Like, bad friend behavior. You shouldnt allow someone to treat you that way, and you definitely shouldnt allow someone to manipulate you by using those levers.
NTA
It’s fine for her to hold onto stuff when it suits her, talk badly about you and walk away when you’re having a hard time, but how dare you do the same?
No. She can go home to mama. This isn’t a friendship you need to rekindle.
Let everyone know you will bend over backwards for the people who helped you when you were down. Tell your friend you don’t want to be around the negativity. Kindness is a 2-way street. NTA
NTA. You’re too negative to be around, right lol
NTA she didn’t help you when you needed it and that seems to be ok among your friends. But you not helping her gets you labelled cold & holding a grudge?
Hey guys thanks for all the support really makes me feel better!!