20M. Recently, I started seeing someone for about 3 weeks now. This girl is like honestly the most perfect woman for me. I’ve always had troubles with my parents growing up, specifically my mom, who likes to control every single aspect of my life, and constantly shouts at me at the most tiniest things or tries to do stuff to make me angry so she can argue with me. This girl I’m seeing, I’ll call her A, has honestly provided me with the love I’ve lacked my whole life. Always cuddles with me after a long day, deduces instantly if i have any trouble that day and instantly encourages or comforts me. But my mom hates her for some reason, just because A is Christian. My family is more towards the Taoist, Buddhist religious side, and my mom keeps insisting I can’t date her and says things like, “I raised you, you owe me your choices,” and “I know what’s best for you.” I told her I’m an adult and my relationships are my decisions, not hers. She got furious, started guilt-tripping me about how ungrateful I am, and keeps bringing it up in front of family. I feel like I shouldn’t have to justify who I choose to date to her, especially when A brought me so much joy and love I am deprived of from her, and just makes me feel happy to be with her, and i have long moved out of my parent’s house. I’ve told my mom I’ll cut her off if this continues because there’s no way I’ll let her act the way she did to me with my future kids, and now she’s making a fit in to the extended families with them blowing up my phone asking me to apologise and break up with A. My dad is like normal silent through this and is unwilling to support me for fear of making my mom angry, a behaviour since i was born. AITA?
NTA – You don’t owe your mom your choices. That’s wild. If you still live with your parents, I recommend finding a way to move out.
NTA — that’s wild she would do something like that. You’re an adult — you can date any girl you want. Please find a way to move out as soon as you possibly can. Your mom seems to practice religious discrimination.
NTA. You have an emotionally abusive mother. Get away from her ASAP.
NTA your mom is an incredibly awful person. I would suggest getting as far away from her as possible.
NTA If you are an adult, than your mother’s opinion is strictly advisory and nothing more. She has no say in who you do or do not date.
Most obvious thing here is you need to move away from your mother asap if not sooner and do what you want.
NTA, I know you love your Mom even though she’s so toxic, but you’re entitled to your own life. You’re right in going no contact. Good luck with your new relationship, she sounds lovely.
NTA.
You do not deserve to be treated like that. Honestly just cut your whole family off if they are just going to back her. Also, take a good long look at your dad and resolve yourself to never be that pitiful.
NTA. Your mom hates your girlfriend because she feels like she’s losing her hold of you. It’s not about your girlfriend personally, it’s about you forming important connections outside of her and your family. I would advise to cut her off, or at least severely limit contact with her.
NTA, but be careful throwing the L word around a girl you’ve been with for less than a month.
NTA
Time to cut the proverbial umbilical cord your mom still thinks exists.
You are an adult and it’s time your mother accepted that.
PS: I’d advise you to be ready to “protect” your future partner from Mom, who will likely not be kind to them regardless of what type of person they are.
She will do this with every girlfriend you get. She wants total control over who you date. Either cut her off or accept she controls your life.
Your mom dislikes your girlfriend because your girlfriend brings you happiness.
“I raised you, you owe me your choices,”
Ok see that’s the issue right here, this is false. You don’t *owe* her anything, she *chose* to have you so it was her responsibility to raise you.
NTA