This weekend, 2 people knocked on our door and said they were the previous owner’s children. I answered via our ring camera. They explained that their father had just passed away and that they wanted to come inside to look around and see the house where they grew up. They were emotional and said they were struggling with the loss. And that this is was the place they had the most memories of and left connected to their father.
I felt bad, but I told them no. I explained that I wasn’t comfortable letting people I don’t know into my home, and I didn’t feel safe or prepared to host strangers, regardless of the circumstances. My husband also wasn’t home so I was alone.
They didn’t take it well. One of them became visibly upset and the other said they couldn’t believe I would deny them something so small when they had “lost everything.” They lingered on the porch for a bit, clearly angry, before eventually leaving.
About an hour later, another older woman came to my door. She introduced herself as their mother and the previous owner’s widow. She asked again if she and the children could come inside, saying it would help them with closure and that it was “still their home in a way.” She said they were devastated. At that point, I felt overwhelmed and uncomfortable. I told her again that I was sorry for their loss, but that the answer was still no. She left upset and disappointed.
AITA for not letting them in?
NTA.
For starters the house will no longer look like how their dad had it, you have different tastes etc, so it would be unrecognisable. Therefore, it’s better for them to remember it, how it was, than how it is now.
2. They could have been anyone, from the local thieves, to squatters who never leave.
This is what I came to say. It’s possible seeing the house completely changed would have upset them even more. Why not remember it the way it was?
The neighborhood I used to live in is one of those inner city places where no one really moves away (I married into it. I did not grow up there). The kids grow up, get married and then buy on the same block from some older person who passed away. So many times I’ve seen families come by to see the old place and it’s always criticism. “Why did you remove my mother’s chandelier? She loved it so much” “Why did you paint the wood trim? My dad worked so hard to sand off the old paint and stain it”. People would get really upset and it got weird. It’s best to relive old memories from photos or a quick drive by.
How incredibly entitled of them. You were right not to let 3 perfect strangers into your home.
The pushing it after being told no is sketchy af.
NTA. People have to realize scammers and thieves have no morals and would use the same story to gain entry. You have no clue as to the veracity of their claims.
This is a common way thieves gain access to houses. NTA
I didn’t know that but I’ve been robbed before back in my college apartment (I wasn’t home) but it’d made me extra cautious
I guess it’s because of where I grew up but my first thought was you almost got robbed too. This is basically how people got in to rob my grandma’s house where I grew up (not the dead dad angle but “we grew up here, we were just in the neighborhood…”). There’s absolutely no shame in being cautious. People saying YTA have probably had it pretty easy if the reality of this type of setup doesn’t even occur to them.
OP, you are NTA. In fact ….. you deserve
A+ For your horse sense!
My first thought was she’s getting robbed.
I’m disturbed by the comment that it was still their home “in a way”
INFO: How do you know that they were the previous owner’s children, other than taking their word for it? Sure, you could have given some grieving people a weird moment in a stranger’s home, but also, you could have been robbed.
I work in fraud and just handled a claim a week or so ago where someone let strangers with a very similar story into their house. The strangers then hit them over the head and robbed them. Am I saying that’s 100% what was happening here? No. Am I saying it would be stupid to let someone into your house just because they have a story that tugs the heartstrings? Yes.
NTA. We once had people turn up at our house saying that they grew up here. My husband’s family has owned the house for a couple of generations so it was literally impossible. There’s no way of knowing anyone’s intentions.